Can you leave it all behind?
by nyxkhaos15
Summary: Can the unholy trinity show Rachel they love her before she gives up on everything or is it to late? Warnings: self harm, attempted suicide
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I Do not own Glee or the characters used...**

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><p>The sky was starting to get darker as she sat on one of the lounge chairs by the pool in her backyard. Turning her head slowly she glanced at the huge house she use to call her home, now it was just a place for her to take up space in and be lonely, it hasn't felt like a home to her since she was a little girl. When she was thirteen her fathers decided having a teenage daughter was to much and started to take business trips together, at first it was only for a few weeks at a time but then it grew to months at time until they finally decided to just move to a apartment in California, leaving her the house and paying all the bills for her and giving her extra money in her bank account so they wouldn't feel to guilty about it. She wanted to hate them but she couldn't, because they were all she had even if they weren't there for her.<p>

Standing up she looked up at sky shivering at how eerily calm it was, she knew a storm was coming and that brought a small smile to face because she's always loved storms. They always made her calm for some reason and she always loved to sing in the rain. Sighing softly she walked into the kitchen to gather up the snacks and stuff for the Glee movie night that was taking place at her house a little bit. Glee was supposed to be like a family to her, but it wasn't, no one in Glee gave her the time of day. They all hated her and only put up with her because of her talent. She knew the only reason they were even coming over here she because Mr. Schue was making them all spend time together over the summer and her house was the only one they haven't been to yet. As she ripped open a bag of BBQ chips, that Santana and Quinn loved so much, pouring them into a bowl her mind began to wander back to events that happened earlier today when the Glee club met in park.

"_Good afternoon everyone." Mr. Schuester greeted as he walked over to group. " I know you guys are wondering why I called you all here to meet before Glee hangout night." _

" _Duh, So can you please just tell us already so we can leave, Cuz I know that none of us want to spend anymore time then we have to with Man-hands over there than we have to." Quinn replies looking down at her fingernails. _

" _Q's right and plus I wanna go get my eats on at Breadstix." Santana huffs as she plays with Brittany's hair._

" _Okay, ladies just calm down. The reason I called you guys here is cause I want you guys to have a movie night tonight at Rachel's house." Mr. Schue says softly as he looks over at Rachel who's eyes widened._

"_No way, Schue." Santana yells. _

" _You can't make us go to man-hands house." Quinn huffed glaring at Rachel who was looking down at the ground with tears in her eyes._

" _No one even likes her. All she cares about is her self and getting all the solos." Mercedes said looking at Kurt who agreed with a nod._

"_That's enough guys, Give her a chance and I know that I can't make you go to her house but if you don't then, lets just say that I will be looking for new members." Mr. Schue said sternly looking at all them. _

"_You can't do that!" Santana yelled. _

"_I can and I will, Santana. This summer is about hanging out and getting to know each other, but all you guys have done is fight and treat each other awful." Mr. Schue answered shaking his head in disappointment. _

" _Actually, we all get along just fine, Well everyone but tranny, everything would be great if she wasn't around." Quinn huffed crossing her arms as everyone around her mumbled their agreements._

" _Mr. Schue, It's fine if we have the movie night somewhere else." Rachel mumbled quietly as she played with the hem of her top as everyone glared at her. She doesn't get why everyone hates her. She admits at first when the club started all she done was throw a fit about solos and stuff, but now she really could care less. Did they not even notice that she barely ever mumbles two words when they practiced? That she doesn't even sing anymore? Maybe, Quinn was right. Maybe it would be better if she wasn't around at all. _

" _Rachel, your house is the only one that no one has been at yet. So that's where movie night will be. Now, that is settled how about we go get something to eat?" Mr. Schue clapped his hands together and smiled as everyone got up and followed him to Breadstix across the street, well everyone but Rachel who got up and walked home. It's not like anyone would even notice if she was missing. Mr. Schue wouldn't even notice her gone, he was as bad as everyone else . He wouldn't even try to help her if he didn't need her talent. He doesn't even help at all really, because he still lets everyone yell, tease, bully, and torment her without even as much of batting a eyelash her way._

Rachel was pulled from her thoughts when the front door bell went off. Throwing the chip bag she held in her hands away, she took a deep breath and put on a fake smile walking to the front door. All the acting classes her dad's let her take has really come in handy she thought as she opened the door to let her team mates in.

"Hi Gu-" She started to say only to be cut off by Santana.

" What ever just let us in tranny, so we can get this over with." Santana grumbled as she pushed past Rachel bumping into her. Rachel winced slightly from the contact and gasped quietly as she felt a small yet familiar pain shoot up her shoulder. No one seemed to even notice, well no one but Brittany.

"You okay, Rachel?" Brittany asked softly as she looked at Rachel with concerned look. Brittany may not be the smartest person but she could tell that something wasn't right with Rachel and that when Santana bumped into her, Rachel's face paled a little and she was shivering slightly.

" I'm fine." Rachel whispered putting a small fake smile on. She could tell Brittany was deciding whether to believe her or not, Finally Brittany nodding and lightly hugged her, causing her to wince slightly again.

" Rach-" Brittany started to say but was cut off by Rachel moving away from her and talking.

" Food and stuff is in the kitchen, so just help yourself." Rachel said as she backed away from Brittany to address everyone else, pointing to the kitchen before pointing to the living room. " DVD's are on the selves in there so feel free to pick whatever movie you guy's want to watch. Now, if you'll excuse me have to go make a phone call."

And with that she made a mad dash up the stairs leaving a confused looking Glee club looking after her.

"San, something is wrong." Brittany whispered to Santana as she watched Rachel disappear into one of the rooms upstairs.

"Nothing is wrong B." Santana replied quietly even though she had the same the feeling that Brittany had.

" Berry is weird, now come on and lets go see what vegan crap she calls food." Quinn said as looked up the stairs one last time before walking into the kitchen. She knew Britt was right when she said something was wrong with Rachel, but she has to put up a act. All three of them had to act like they didn't care, well her and Santana did anyways. No one would question Brittany, like they would her or Santana.

"Q, she gots those BBQ chips we like." Santana said excitedly as she ran over to bowl of chips. Quinn could tell that Santana was thinking the same thing as her about Rachel from the look on her face when the diva took off up the stairs.

" Wow, she has all of ours favorite snacks and drinks." Brittany said bouncing up and down only to stop and look at Santana with a confused look.

"What's wrong B?" Santana asked as she grabbed a hand full of chips putting them on a plate.

" I thought Rachel was vegan?" Brittany said as she cocked her head to side a little.

" She is." Quinn replied looking at Brittany trying to figure out why she was asking that.

" But I thought vegan food was nasty and stuff. So why does she have all of our favorite foods?" Brittany asked looking at Santana then at Quinn.

" well-" Quinn started to say but stopped to think. Brittany was right, why does Rachel have all their favorite foods and drinks if she's vegan. No one else bought any special snacks or stuff when they had movie night at their houses, it was always what was in the kitchen or the gleeks brought their own stuff. Quinn was brought out of her thoughts by Santana snapping her fingers in front of her face.

" Q, you zoned out on us." Santana chuckled as Quinn jumped a little. " Now what was you saying before you zoned out and shit?"

"Oh, I don't really know." Quinn shrugged as she looked to see all the others enter the kitchen.

"Dudes, She has like every movie possible in there and a 70 inch flat screen tv." Puck says smiling like a little kid on Christmas walking over to the counter. " All this food for us?"

" I'm guessing it is." Santana shrugged as she still filled up her plate with all her favorite things.

" She got all three of your favorite things?" Kurt asked raising a eyebrow as he looked at all the food on the table.

" What do you mean, Hummel?" Quinn asked looking at him.

" All the food you guys are eating consists of all three of your favorite things. I mean look she has those chips you and Santana are obsessed with and not to mention the cookies and candy you like, and she even got Brittany those gross looking gummi worms. Heck she even put all your guys stuff over here on the table away from all the other stuff. I Don't see why you three get special stuff." Kurt says in a huff looking at all three of them. He was right, Rachel had all their favorite stuff at the table while all the other chips, cookies, and stuff was on the counter. Why did Rachel buy them special stuff? It just didn't make sense.

" Maybe, she was just being nice." Brittany said happily as she ate one of her gummi worms.

"To you three of all people? Really? The unholy Trinity." Kurt huffed louder.

" Hummel, it's not like we asked her to buy this shit. So stop being a damn baby." Santana scowled at Kurt before she turned back to her plate of chips.

" I'm not being a baby." Kurt turned and stomped away to where Tina and Mercedes was.

" He is right though it is a little weird that she got all of our favorite things and no one else." Quinn said to the other two girls as she looked around the room. Everyone was eating and laughing, well everyone but Rachel who still hasn't come back from upstairs. Quinn frowned a little when she realized that the tiny diva has been gone for quite awhile. Looking over at Santana she see's that she is worried about Rachel not being back yet like her.

"Berry, has a huge pool and hot tub!" Puck yells as he opens up the sliding doors that lead to it. All the other Gleeks but the trio follow Puck outside.

Quinn looks at Santana and Brittany before standing up and nodding her head to the direction of where Rachel disappeared up the stairs early.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Glee or songs used...**

**Songs used: Goodbye(I'm sorry)- And I turned seven**

** Hallelujah- Imogen Heap**

** Defying Gravity- Wicked**

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><p>Upstairs Rachel hears Noah yell about the pool. She shakes her head a little and giggles at how childish he can be sometimes. Sighing she looked at the cuts on her shoulder that were stinging from the cream she had just put on them. She shivered and swallowed hard as she realized that the cuts were a lot more deeper then she normally done. It's not like she really meant for the cuts to be that deep but she was to upset to pay attention to what she was doing. Today took a lot out of her. First the park with the Gleeks, then her dads called her to tell her that they signed the house over to her but would still pay for the bills until she graduated high school, and when she went to the store to buy stuff for the movie night she saw Shelby her birth mother. She grabbed a wash cloth and began to wipe the make up that was running down her cheeks from crying. She hates feeling so helpless, worthless, and lonely, that's probably the main reasons she started to cut. Cutting to her was the only time that she felt in control, although she knows its not healthy or right to be doing, but she can't stop it now. It's part of her now and there was no turning back or a least that's what she thinks. As she wipes the rest of her make up off she starts to wonder if any of her so called family downstairs even care that she's be gone a long time, or if they would even care that she cuts herself. Part of her wonders if they would even care if she would end her life with them downstairs. They would probably just cheer and throw a party, she thinks bitterly as she feels tears well up in her eyes again. She throws the wash cloth at the mirror as she slides down on her knees sobbing quietly with her head in hands.<p>

When did her life turn to this? She has no family. Her mom never wanted her and her dad's regret adopting her. The kids at school are worse. All she ever wanted was for people to accept her and be her friend. She even listened to them when they told her to shut up and not talk so much, but did that help? No, things seemed to have got worse when she done that. The only thing she was grateful for was that it was summer time and she didn't have to worry about slushies being threw at her or people pushing her into lockers.

"_no one will cry over me. I'm not worth any tears." _Rachel sings softly as she sits against the wall wrapping her arms tightly around her legs. Rachel doesn't even notice the three girls at the door with tears in their eyes as they watch the small diva's body shake with sobs as she sings.

" _It's been the years, of abuse. _

_Neglected to treat the disorder, _

_That controls my youth, _

_for so long. I'm in a fleshy tomb, _

_buried up above the ground. It's no use, _

_why should I hold on? It's been five years,_

_don't need one more."_

Santana can't believe what she was hearing the little diva sing. It made her sick to see Rachel so broken and hurt, but she knows that her and Quinn were part of the reason the tiny girl was so broken and lost. She feels Brittany grip her arm tightly and she looks over at her to see that Brittany's eyes are wide as tears roll down her cheek. Quinn looks over at her before looking back at Rachel. She was about to ask Brittany what was wrong when she heard the other blonde gasp quietly pointing to Rachel. Santana's eyes follows to where Quinn is pointing and that's where she see's it. Five deep and angry looking cuts on Rachel's shoulder, she gasp a little louder then Quinn and that's when Rachel finally realizes the three girls standing there.

"Go ahead and laugh." Rachel mumbles brokenly before she buries her face into her knees.

Brittany is the first to react as she slowly enters the bathroom and sits in front of Rachel, running her fingers gently through the brunettes hair.

" Rachel, why would we laugh?" Brittany asks quietly.

"I don't know. Maybe because all three of you hate me." Rachel whispers as her body shakes more from her crying.

"Rachel, honey, we don't hate you. " Quinn says softly as she walks over to Rachel sitting beside her rubbing her back gently.

"There's no need to lie to me, Quinn." Rachel replies harshly as she tries to move away from the two girls.

"Rachel, Sit still." Santana said in a forcefully but gentle tone as she walks over and sits on the other side of Rachel. " Now, tell us why you have five deep cuts on your shoulder."

" Why do you guys even care?" Rachel asks quietly letting out shaky breath. Santana hears Quinn and Brittany let out a small cry at how broken and hurt Rachel sounded. They both look at Santana with sad and heartbroken eyes. She knows that tonight the truth will come out. Part of her is happy that they won't have to keep lying to Rachel and everyone else, but then she also knows that Rachel might not take it well. The tiny diva already thinks that they hate her, but that's not true. In fact all three of them love the diva more then anything.

" Please, just talk to us." Brittany whispers as she slowly lifts Rachel's face up. " Please, Rach."

" It's nothing to worry about." Rachel replies looking anywhere but Brittany's eyes. " Can you guys just leave me alone and go back downstairs with others. Their all probably wondering where you guys are at."

"No, were not leaving you!" Quinn snapped causing Rachel to flinch. " Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"We don't care if they miss us or not. Were staying here with you." Santana said softly as she ran her fingers up and down Rachel's arm lightly, smiling inside when she felt Rachel relax a little bit.

" You know they'll come look for you guys though." Rachel whispered softly as she finally sit up and looked at the three girls.

" Well how about me and Quinn go down and do some damage control and get them all to leave?" Santana asks softly as she looks into Rachel's dark chocolate eyes.

"How?" Rachel asks quietly.

"We'll think of something." Quinn says gently as she kisses the side of Rachel's head gently before standing up.

"I - I, okay" Rachel mumbles blushing a little as Santana kisses the other side of her head.

" We'll be right back." Santana says softly with a small smile as her and Quinn leave the room.

Rachel stared after them before turning to the tall blonde that was sitting in front of her. She wished that Brittany would have went with them to, because she knows if it would be anyone that would be able to break down the walls that she built it would be the sweet, kind, and gentle blonde in front of her.

" Rach, why did you hurt yourself?" Brittany asked softly looking at her with sad eyes.

" Brittany, I don't want to talk about it." Rachel sighed looking down feeling tears burn her eyes again. She wished she could stop crying.

" Rachel, I know you think that San, Q, and me hate you but we don't. We never have. Actually, we care a lot about you." Brittany says softly as she runs her fingers through Rachel's hair again.

" Slushies, hurtful names, and pranks are very funny way of showing you guys care." Rachel huffs finally moving and standing up and walking out of the bathroom to find a shirt to put over the tank top she has on. " You know that you can go find Santana and Quinn and go home. I'll be fine."

" Did you not hear, Quinn? Were not leaving." Brittany says crossing her arms over her chest as she stands by the bathroom door. Rachel couldn't help but laugh softly and smile at how cute Brittany looked. Part of Rachel was kind glad someone found out about her cutting, but she really wished it was someone else other then the trio. She wanted to believe that they really cared but she couldn't. She can't let her guard down, because her heart and body couldn't take anymore pain and disappointment.

" Okay." Rachel replied as she climbed onto her bed and sat down curling up against her knees.

"When we came into the bathroom you was singing. What was that song called?" Brittany asked as she walked over and sit in front of Rachel again.

"It's called Goodbye I'm sorry." Rachel answered looking at Brittany.

"It was really sad." Brittany said quietly as she leaned her head gently against Rachel's knees.

"Yeah, it is a very sad song." Rachel says quietly as she smoothes down Brittany's hair with a small smile.

"Can you sing to me? I miss hearing you sing. You never sing anymore in Glee and you haven't for since March. San and Q miss your singing too, they just won't admit it out loud." Brittany says getting a little excited at the thought of hearing Rachel's voice again.

"You've kept track of how long it's been since I've sung?" Rachel asks looking at Brittany a little confused. She thought no one noticed that she never sung anymore.

"Yeah, San and Q have to." Brittany replied looking into Rachel's eyes. " So will you? Please, Rae."

"Okay. What do you want me to sing, Britt?" Rachel smiles at the nick name Brittany used.

" Any song you want!" Brittany yells excitedly giggling. Rachel laughs at Brittany little outburst and clears her throat a little before she starts to sing her favorite version of the song Hallelujah by Imogen Heap.

"_Baby I've been here before_

_I've seen this room and I've walked this floor_

_I used to live alone, before I knew ya_

_I've seen your flag, on the marble arch_

_but love is not some victory marchit's a cold, _

_and it's a broken Hallelujah _

_Hallelujah , Hallelujah , Hallelujah , Hallelujah"_

Brittany moved and laid beside Rachel so she could watch her. Sighing softly closing her eyes as she felt Rachel's tiny fingers comb through hair gently.

"_their was a time when you let me know_

_what's really going on below_

_but now you never show that to me_

_do ya?remember when I moved in you_

_and the holy dove was moving too?and every breathe we drew was _

_Hallelujah Hallelujah , Hallelujah , Hallelujah , Hallelujah…"_

When Brittany opened her eyes she saw that Santana and Quinn were standing in the doorway of Rachel's room smiling gently at the two girls on the bed.

" She sung!" Brittany said excitedly as she moved closer to Rachel, who giggled lightly at the blondes action.

"We heard." Santana said softly as she made her way to the bed. " That was beautiful, Rach."

"Thank you." Rachel mumbled blushing lightly. " Did everyone leave?"

" Yeah, we told them that you weren't feeling well. Was that okay?" Quinn said. Walking over and sitting by Santana on Rachel's bed.

Rachel nods her head a little and looks down at the bed, wishing that somehow she would magically disappear, because she knows now that she has to talk to them at some point tonight. She feels the bed shift a little and before she knows what's happening she being pulled into someone's lap. Looking up her brown eyes connect with even darker brown eyes that are full of concern and worry.

"Now, Rach, please talk to us. We just want to help you." Santana whispers gently as she held the tiny diva close to her looking into her eyes.

"You can't help me." the tiny diva says almost to quietly for the trio to hear looking down at her hands resting on her lap.

"Why do you say that, Rach?" Quinn asks in a gentle tone as she reaches over and lays her right hand on top of Rachel's tiny hands squeezing them gently. The action causes Rachel to look up at Quinn. The sad, empty, and lost look in Rachel's eyes makes Quinn's hair stand up. She's never seen the tiny diva so broken, and it's scaring her. Making her heart ache even more thinking that maybe they were to late to fix it.

"Rachel, sweetie, please just talk to us." Santana whispers as she lightly kisses Rachel's temple.

" I can't. I just can't. please don't make me." Rachel sobbed quietly burying her face into Santana's neck.

Brittany and Quinn looked at Santana, who was have a hard time holding back her tears. Santana was the strongest of trio but right now she felt so weak and helpless because of the tiny diva in arms was broken and hurting and she couldn't fix it, not without knowing what's wrong. She hated herself for the way she always treated Rachel, but to her and the two blonde's it was better this way, but now she's starting to realize that maybe they were wrong about it.

"Rae, we won't make you talk if you don't want to." Brittany said quietly as she looked from Quinn to Santana. " But know that we'll be here for you when you do want to talk."

Santana felt Rachel nod her head against her neck, and she sighed softly as she wrapped her arms tightly around the small girl, she looked into Quinn eyes asking permission to tell the trio's biggest secret that would change all the girl's lives, hopeful for the better. Quinn smiled softly and nodded her head as she moved closer to Brittany laying against her.

"Rachel, sweetie, were going tell you something that probably going make you hate us even more then you already do, but we need to tell you this, so that maybe one day you can forgive us and trust us enough to help you." Santana said gently moving back slowly so she could look into Rachel's eyes.

"I've never hated any of you." Rachel mumbled quietly looking up at Santana. " Trust me when I say no matter you guys have to tell me I'm not going hate you. I couldn't hate you guys even if I tried. You guys are perfect." Rachel said the last part quietly, hoping the girls didn't hear her, but she wasn't that lucky. Santana, Quinn, and Brittany all smiled a little that words that Rachel just said before they each kissed Rachel's head lightly causing the tiny diva to giggle and blush deeply.

Santana sighed thinking that this was probably going to be a long night, but hopeful it will be worth it in the end. " Rachel, do you remember the first day you seen any of us?"

" Umm, I think it was the second day of freshman year. It was the first time I was ever slushied." Rachel replied wrinkling her nose up at the thought of the stinging frozen ice drink when it hit you in the face. "Why?"

" Well, yeah that was the first day that we ever talked to you, or well actually we talked at you before I threw the slushie at you. I'm sorry about that by the way. I know my words don't mean much, but I am sorry." Santana said gently squeezing Rachel's arms gently. " Anyways, The first time any of us seen you was the first day of freshman year. You were in the auditorium…"

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><p><em>Santana Lopez walked down the halls of Mckinley High in her new cheerios outfit along side her two best friends and secret lovers Quinn Fabray and Brittany Pierce. The change from just being best friends to secret girlfriends happened over the summer and it was amazing, although they felt like something was missing. <em>

_The three girls were knew as the unholy trinity and it was only the first day of their high school career, the thought made Santana smirk, because she knows that everyone is going fear them._

"_Do you guys hear that?" Brittany asks as they walk through the crowd of students that tried to jump and move out of the three cheerios way._

"_Hear what, Britt?" Quinn asked as the trio neared the gym for practice._

"_Someone singing." Brittany replied looking around trying to figure out where the sound is coming from. _

"_B, I think your just hearing things." Santana said as she glared at the jocks that were checking out her two girlfriends._

"_I'm not just hearing things, San." Brittany stepped in front of the two girls stopping them. " now listen, please." _

_Santana and Quinn shared a look and started to listen, because they knew Brittany wouldn't move from the hall until they listened and they would be late for practice._

"_Now do you hear it?" Brittany asks as she looks toward the auditorium and points. "It's coming from in there. Who ever is singing sounds amazing." _

_Before Quinn or Santana could react Brittany was already headed toward the auditorium doors. _

"_Come on, Q lets go with her. You know she ain't going go to practice until we do." Santana sighed and followed her tall blonde girlfriend._

"_Fine, you know sometimes I wish she didn't have that really good hearing. It would make things a lot easier." Quinn huffed catching up to Santana._

" _You know you love that about her, so stop complaining." Santana laughed as Quinn hit her arm._

"_Shush." Quinn glared playfully at Santana before they entered the auditorium to see their sweet and kind girlfriend stunned staring at the stage._

"_B?" Santana whispered looking at her girlfriend a little concerned._

"_Shhh, and look." Brittany whispered as she still looked at the stage with wonder in her eyes. Santana shrugged her shoulders at Quinn and looked the stage, only to have the wind knocked out of her. She glanced over at Quinn who had the same look on her face as Brittany. That's when she heard the most beautiful sound in the world and she could tell that her girlfriend's thought the same thing._

"_Something Has Changed Within Me_

_Something Is Not The Same_

_I'm Through With Playing By The Rules_

_Of Someone Else's Game_

_Too Late For Second-guessing_

_Too Late To Go Back To Sleep_

_It's Time To Trust My Instincts_

_Close My Eyes: And Leap!"_

_The trio moved and sat in the seats that were beside them, never taking their eyes off the tiny girl on the stage. _

"_She's beautiful." Santana whispered as she watched the girl move around the stage like a pro._

_"It's Time To Try_

_Defying Gravity_

_I Think I'll Try_

_Defying Gravity_

_Kiss Me Goodbye_

_I Am Defying Gravity_

_And You Wont Bring Me Down!"_

"_Wow." Quinn whispered leaning forward in her seat to trying to get closer to the tiny girl stage. _

_"I'm Through Accepting Limits''cause Someone Says They're So_

_Some Things I Cannot ChangeBut Till I Try, I'll Never Know!_

_Too Long I've Been Afraid Of_

_Losing Love I Guess I've Lost_

_Well, If That's Love_

_It Comes At Much Too High A Cost!"_

_The girl on stage started to spin in circle as she sung. She looked so happy and carefree. The trio knew right then that they had to have her. She was the missing piece to their puzzle._

"_I think I'm in love." Brittany whispered in a shaky breath. " She's perfect."_

" _I know, B" Santana said quietly thinking of how crazy it was that they knew nothing about the tiny girl other then she has a amazing voice, but all three of them was in love with girl. _

_"I'd Sooner BuyDefying Gravity_

_Kiss Me Goodbye_

_I'm Defying Gravity_

_I Think I'll Try_

_Defying Gravity_

_And You Wont Bring Me Down!"_

"_We've going crazy haven't we?" Quinn asks as her eyes still follow the girl on stage._

"_More like insane." Santana whispered._

_"I'd Sooner Buy_

_Defying Gravity_

_Kiss Me Goodbye_

_I'm Defying Gravity_

_I Think I'll Try_

_Defying Gravity And You Bring Me DownBring Me Down!"_

_Ohh Ohhh Ohhhh! _

_The tiny girl on stage panted trying to catch her breath as she walked over to the piano turning off her I pod. The girl giggled and smiled before she gathered up her stuff to leave, once she walked off the stage, the trio finally snapped out of their daze and looked at each other. _

" _We have to find her." Brittany said looking at her two girlfriends before looking back at the stage._

"_Hey, you three what are you doing in here?" They hear someone yell from the other side of the auditorium._

"_We was just leaving." Santana said as she tried to get her girlfriends to move._

"_Can you tell us who that girl was that was just singing?" Brittany asked as she slapped Santana's hands away. She wasn't moving until she found out who that beautiful girl was._

"_Oh, you mean the diva? Her name is Rachel Berry. She is the next star in the making or so she says." The man laughed. " She's so full of her self. She thinks she going make it to Broadway."_

" _Well, we think that she will. She has a wonderful voice." Quinn huffed crossing her arms across her chest as she glared that the person. "And who are you anyways?"_

"_Sandy Ryerson, Glee director." The man huffs. " And as for Rachel she not going be anything. Not after a few years of high school anyways, because she'll end up finding her so called prince charming, who will most likely be a lima loser, and she'll give up her dream to be a stay at home wife and mother of three." _

_At that point the trio saw nothing but red. How dare he put their tiny diva down like that? _

"_You don't know that!" Santana growled at him as she stared daggers at him. _

"_No, I don't but the statistics do." Sandy said as he walked out of the auditorium. " By the way get out of my auditorium!" _

" _Why… I" Santana was furious and about to go all Lima Height on him. _

"_S! hon. Calm down." Quinn said as she grabbed a hold of her feisty Latina girlfriend. " Just ignore him." _

_Santana relaxed a little and kissed Quinn gently as Brittany wrapped her arms around both of them, kissing them quickly._

" _You know he's right." Quinn whispered as she looked into their eyes. " If she finds a guy or if she would ever be with us, all that would do would be to hold her back from her dreams, because no one in this damn town deserves her. From just hearing her sing once, I know she's destined to be great and we can't be the reasons she gives up and we can't let anyone else ruin her dream. You both know what we have to do now."_

"_Q, are you sure about this?" Santana asks quietly, hoping that Quinn would change her mind cause she not to sure if she can just forget about the tiny gorgeous diva._

"_San, We have to." Quinn replied softly as she looked at her two girlfriends heartbroken faces. _

"_She's right, San. No one in this town deserves her." Brittany says quietly as she looks at the stage again wishing that the tiny girl would come back out. _

"_Okay." Santana nodded her head, even though she felt like someone just ripped her heart out. "We'll start it tomorrow."_

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><p>When Santana finished telling the story no one moved. Rachel was processing what she just heard with her eyes tightly shut. The trio's eyes got wide as the tiny diva broke down crying. They knew it could go bad but they didn't think she would cry.<p>

"Shhhh, sweetie." Quinn rubbed Rachel's back gently trying to calm the girl down.

"Rae, please don't cry. I don't like it when you cry, it makes me cry." Brittany whispered as tears formed in her eyes.

"Baby girl, please, I know what we did was messed up , but we was doing it for you. I know it sounds crazy." Santana said softly as she hold the tiny diva closer and tighter to her chest afraid that she would disappear if she let go.

"This can't be. I'm dreaming. That's it. I'm dreaming and when I wake up I'm going be alone in my bed and the three most beautiful girls I've ever met will be gone." Rachel mumbles quietly to herself keeping her eyes closed tight. The trio look down at her with a amused expression on the faces. " It's all a dream."

"Rae, it's not a dream." Brittany giggles smiling at the tiny diva, whose eyes just snapped opened and looking at the trio with wide eyes.

"If it's not a dream, then I've going crazy." Rachel says as she looked at the trio who had amused looks on their faces. " Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"Your so adorable." Santana laughs kissing Rachel's cheek.

"How am I adorable?" Rachel asks shyly as she blushes again. The other girl laugh, causing the tiny diva to pout and huff at them. "Why are you guys laughing at me?"

"Aww, were sorry hunny." Quinn says with a smile as she touches Rachel's shoulder lovingly. " To answer your question, your adorable because we just got done telling you our story and the first thing that you do is cry and think your dreaming it. It was adorable."

"Well, for the past year that's all I've dream about, well what I mean is I dreamed that you guys felt the same way or a least cared about me." Rachel mumbled quietly looking down again.

"Well, baby girl it's not a dream and we do care about you a lot. Were so sorry about everything we've done to you." Santana said as she lifted Rachel's face up gently so she could look into those deep brown eyes that she loved so much. "Beautiful."

When Rachel heard Santana whisper that it made her smile, a real smile, for the first time in months. She couldn't believe it, still. The three girls she's had feelings for since the first time she ever seen them dance in Glee felt the same way. She still finds the way they treated her a little mean and cowardice, but over all it was sweet. How was it sweet? Well, all three girls was willing to give up the chances to be happy with her, so she could go on and live her dream of being a Broadway star after college.

"Rae, you okay? You got quiet and have a little bit of a weird look on your face." Brittany said moving her hand up and down in front of Rachel's face. " Oh no! She's broken again!"

"B! calm down, she just spacing out." Santana laughed shaking Rachel a little to snap her out of her daze. "See there, she's okay."

"Sorry, what?" Rachel asked looking around at the three girls with a confused look.

" You spaced out and scared Britt." Quinn smiled at her as the tiny diva moved out of Santana's lap and crawled to sit in front of Brittany.

"Sorry, Britt. I was just thinking." The tiny diva said gently as she leaned over and kissed Brittany on the cheek, causing the blonde to blush and smile goofily. " Glad to see I'm not the only who blushes."

" Not fair." Santana pouts " I want a kiss."

"You do?" Rachel asks with a smirk playing on her lips as she looked over her shoulder at Santana.

"Yes." Santana replies smiling at the tiny diva who just smiles at her before turning her body around to face the Latina.

"To bad." Rachel said quickly as she bolted from the bed and out the bedroom door but not before she kissed Quinn on the cheek, leaving her in a daze like Brittany was.

"W- wha ..what?" Santana stuttered blinking her eyes quickly trying to figure out what just happened.

"You just got played." Brittany laughed. "Q? You okay?"

Quinn nodded slowly with a huge smile on her face. " Wait. Where did Rachel go?"

" She fooled San, and bolted out of the room." Brittany said laughing at the still shocked face that Santana had.

Once Santana recovered from her shock she bolted out of the room to find their tiny diva, not paying any attention to the two blonde's that were laughing at her. The Latina checked all the rooms upstairs before going downstairs. She knew Rachel had a advantage on her and a head start, but that didn't mean anything to the tall brunette because she was determined to get that kiss, even if it was peck on the cheek. She's wasted two years being a coward and stupid about this how thing with Rachel to not get a kiss, plus all be damned if she was going let Rachel get away with kissing the two blonde's first. It wasn't fair.

"Where did you go?" Santana mumbled under her breath as she walked around the living room looking behind all the furniture and even under the coffee table. She laughed at herself a little mumbling that she was stupid when she caught her self looking under the small coffee table, but in her defense the tiny diva could probably fit under there. Walking into the kitchen she seen the sliding door that lead to backyard was slightly open. Raising a eyebrow, she thought I was weird the sliding door was partly open because she knows for a fact she made sure the door was shut and locked before her and Quinn went back upstairs after making everyone leave. Maybe Rachel was outside? But why would she go out there? It was raining really hard and she didn't think the tiny diva would be out in that.

"San?" She hears Brittany ask from the front part of the house.

"In the kitchen!" Santana yells to let her girlfriends know where she's at as she walks over to the sliding door. Looking out the door she sees the tiny diva spinning in circles laughing and smiling with her arms up in the air, letting the rain hit her in the face. To Santana it was the most perfect and beautiful thing she's seen.

"She looks so carefree." Quinn says softly from beside her. " It reminds me of the day we first seen her."

"Yeah, it does." Santana whispered as she smiled watching the tiny diva that captured their hearts having fun in the rain.

"I love the rain!" Brittany yells excitedly as she pushes the door open and takes off running to where Rachel is.

Quinn and Santana laugh shaking their heads at the site of Brittany picking up Rachel spinning the tiny girl around as she laughs and yells " I'm flying!"

" Were going have to talk to her about her cutting. I don't know how though. She doesn't trust us enough for that and hell I don't blame her for not trusting us. We done some pretty shitty stuff to her. I know we done it cause we thought we was protecting her, but still what we done was messed up and it kills me to even think about all the stuff we put her through." Santana frowns at the thoughts and flashbacks she's having. " I don't even know how in the world she even has feelings for us. Brittany I can see her caring for but us, Q?"

" S, you know as well as I do that Rachel Berry is known for being a forgiving and caring person. Right now I couldn't be happier with that thought, because that means we still have a chance to fix everything and to show her we all love her. With the thing about her cutting, I guess will just have to try and talk to her about it in a little bit." Quinn lays her head on Santana's shoulder sighing softly at the view of the two girls in the yard. " Do you think we should make them come in? I don't want them to get sick."

"Yeah, I'll go get them and get me that kiss short stuff owes me." Santana said before she walked out the door to get the two girls to come inside.

Quinn laughed softly and shook her head at her Latina girlfriend, only she would whine and complain about not getting a kiss on the cheek. Of course, she would probably be doing the same thing if the tiny diva done that to her.

Rachel stopped running when she saw Santana walking toward her and Brittany. Smiling at the Latina as she slowly walked over to her.

"I see you finally decided to come find me." Rachel said when she was directly in front of the girl. " I thought you forgot about me."

"Never." Santana whispered smiling down at the tiny girl. " I came out here to get you both. So come on and we'll watch a movie or something."

"Wait, you guys are staying longer?" Rachel asks with a little hope in her voice.

"Actually, were going be staying for a few day. Well if that's okay." Santana smiles more as she sees Rachel's face light up at thought of having the three girls staying with her.

"I would like that." The tiny diva smiles brightly and leans up kissing Santana gently on the cheek before whispering in her ear. " I owed you that."

Santana felt as if heart was going explode and it was caused just from one little kiss on the cheek. What's going happen when her and Rachel finally share their first kiss? She can only smile bigger at the thought of kissing Rachel.

"Come on." Rachel grabbed her hand and walked back to the house where the two blondes were waiting. She knows tonight is going be a long night, but it will be worth it if the tiny diva will finally open up to them.


	3. Chapter 3

**thanks to everyone who left a review and I'm glad you all like the story..**

**sorry for the chapter being a little short... **

** I do not own Glee or the characters used**

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><p>After Rachel got dried off and put on a baggy t-shirt and some basketball shorts that were a little to big on her, Causing the three Cheerios to laugh at how the tiny diva had to keep pulling them every once in awhile and smile at how cute she looked in them, which in turn caused her to blush deeply. Finally deciding on a movie, which meant that Santana and Quinn picked because they knew Rachel would force them to watch Funny Girl and Brittany would pick a Disney movie and finding clothes for the trio to wear, the four girls gathered in front of the comfy couch in the living room. Brittany moved and picked the right side of the couch to lay down, pulling Quinn down to lay in front of her wrapping her arms tightly around waist cuddling close to her. The action caused Rachel to smile but wonder why the tall blonde cuddled with Quinn and not Santana, because it was common knowledge that the blonde dancer and feisty Latina was always cuddling and touching. Not to draw to much attention to herself that she was staring at them, she shrugged slightly and took a sit near the two blondes feet curling her knees up laying her head on them. Feeling eyes on her, she looked up to see Santana looking down at her with a shy smile.<p>

"I think B and Q have a good idea going with the whole cuddling thing and laying down." Santana said with a shaky voice. "Um, we could cuddle to if you want?" What the hell? Santana thinks as she feels her face start to heat up a little. She doesn't get nervous, or shy, well only with her two girlfriends but that's different. Yeah, she really cares for Rachel and loves her just as much as her girlfriends but she's never acted like this before in front of her.

"Really?" Rachel asks looking up at Santana hopefully.

"Yes." Santana replied smiling. Moving over to the side of the couch climbing over the arm and laying down pushing herself against the back of it to give Rachel a lot of room, although the tiny diva didn't need that much, so she wouldn't fall off. "come here, short stuff."

Not needing to be told twice, Rachel moved and laid in front of Santana. Smiling to herself when she felt the taller brunette wrap her arms around her waist and pull her close. The feeling of having Santana pressed up against her felt so right and made her body tingle, she never wanted the feeling to end.

"What movie did you and Quinn pick?" Rachel asked as she hit the play button on the remote.

"Scream 4." Santana replied fighting the urge to kiss the exposed skin of Rachel's neck as she felt the tiny diva shiver a little when she told her the movie they picked. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah it's fine." Rachel lied. Truth is Rachel absolutely hated horror movies, especially the Scream movies, it was just something about Ghost face that terrified her. She still don't know why her dad's would always get her horror movies for her birthday, they both know she hates them. Oh well, I guess it was better then nothing, a least they remembered her birthday.

"I don't see why we couldn't watch The Little Mermaid or a movie about ducks." Brittany pouted as the movie started.

"We'll watch The Little Mermaid next, okay?" Quinn said gently rubbing the tall blondes arms.

"Fine, but you both know how much I hate scary movies and from the way Rae is shaking and wide eyed at the movie, and it just started, she doesn't like them either." Brittany said as she giggled a little at the sight of the tiny diva squirming and not being able to look away from the movie.

"Rachel, sweetie? You okay?" Quinn asks looking at the diva who keeps pushing herself more and more against Santana, who looks rather amused and trying not to laugh at the tiny diva. "San, is she okay? I mean the movie just started and she's like freaking out."

"I don't know, Q. I keep poking her and she's not responding to me." Santana answers leaning up and staring down at Rachel. " Rach, Baby girl?"

Rachel could hear them talking to her but she couldn't find her voice to answer them as she watched the two girls on the screen jump from the phone ringing. She knew what was going happen, she knew someone was going die but she couldn't look away. The next 10 minutes or so would have been funny if it wasn't Rachel who made a complete fool of herself, because the moment the girl's cell phone went off on screen the trio's cell phones vibrated on the coffee table causing the tiny diva to scream and bolt from the couch running upstairs trying to hold her shorts up yelling "oh my god! I'm going die!" leaving three very stunned and amused looking cheerios behind laughing their heads off.

"Wow, Rae runs really fast even with her shorts falling off." Brittany says amazed.

"I can't believe that just happened." Quinn gasp trying to catch her breath from laughing so hard. "I never thought Rachel Berry could run that fast."

"I'm going go check on her before she decides to find a weapon or something and attack our phones." Santana laughs as she stands up grabbing her phone checking the message from Coach Sylvester telling them that they had a meeting tomorrow afternoon.

Walking up the stairs Santana could hear the tiny diva mumbling something about dying a virgin and never getting to actually kiss the trio, she couldn't help but to laugh about how dramatic the tiny diva was.

" Rach-" Santana started to say as she entered Rachel's room but was soon cut off by the tiny diva screaming and jumping on her back.

"You killed them! I never even got to kiss them, well I did kiss their cheek but that doesn't count!" Rachel yelled still not realizing it was Santana. The tall Latina was trying to talk, but it was proving difficult with the tiny diva trying to choke her.

"Rae? San? Oh my god!" Brittany yelled as she entered the bedroom.

"Your alive!" Rachel yelled releasing Santana and running to Brittany. " I thought that person killed you!" turning and pointing to the tall Latina who was kneeling by the bed trying to catch her breath. Brittany start laughing as Quinn entered the room with a confused look.

"What's going on?" Quinn asked looking around the room spotting Santana by the bed. " What happen to you, S?"

"S? that's not Santana." Rachel told Quinn before she turned to see the tall Latina trying to stand up still trying to catch her breath. Her eyes widen in realization that she almost choked Santana. "O- Oh my god! I'm so sorry Santana! I thought you was the killer."

"Killer? Sweetie there is no killer." Quinn laughed as Rachel ran over to Santana hugging her and apologizing over and over.

" I really thought you was a killer, Tana. I'm so sorry." Rachel said as she kissed the girls cheek over and over. "Forgive me please?"

"Rach, Baby girl, it's okay really. I know you didn't mean to." Santana told the tiny diva smiling at her and enjoying the kisses she was getting.

"You know this mean no more horror movies. We can't have Rachel trying to kill everyone." Quinn said laughing. " I don't think I've ever seen someone so afraid of a movie before and it was only like ten minutes into it."

"I don't like them either but I've never acted like that. Oh, and what about how Rae took off running trying to hold her shorts up. Now that was so funny." Brittany laughed harder as she hold on the Quinn.

" It's not funny." Rachel pouted sitting down on her bed cross her arms. " I never watch horror movies."

"I can see why." Santana said walking over to the little diva kissing her forehead and smiling when she felt tiny arms wrap around her waist pulling her close. " I say we go down and watch The Little Mermaid before we talk, because we are going talk tonight. I know you don't want to, Rach, but we need you to tell us what is going on."

"I know." Rachel whispered pulling Santana closer to her and burying her face against the tall Latina's stomach.

Santana looked down at the girl holding her with a loving smile before looking over at the two blondes, they all knew that whatever the tiny diva was going tell them they weren't going like it.

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><p><strong>Next few chapters will be in the POV of Rachel <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Glee or any of the characters**

**Thanks to everyone who likes the story and everyone who has reviewed**

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><p><strong>Rachel's POV<strong>

When we got back downstairs after my very embarrassing dramatic reaction to that stupid movie and making a mental note to hide all the horror movies from Santana and Quinn. I decided to go make popcorn, because you can't watch a Disney movie with out it or a least that's how I feel. Plus, I needed some space from the three beautiful cheerios. I still can't get over the fact that they actually care for me like I do them. It really is like a dream come true, I mean the three most beautiful girls in Mckinley High, actually the three most beautiful I've ever met, like me Rachel Berry the social outcast that no one wants anything to do with. Part of me thinks that maybe this is all a plot against me, but why would they go to this much trouble if it was? Unless it's so I'll trust them and let them know all my secrets, to just break me even more. I really hope that's not case because it honestly wouldn't take to much to break me completely and to push me over the edge, because I'm already half way there.

The ding from the microwave brought me out of my thoughts. I grabbed a bowl and poured the bag of butter popcorn in it before grabbing another bag of unbuttered popcorn putting it in the microwave. While waiting for it to get done my mind started to drift to the cuts on my shoulder. I know I'm going have to talk to the trio about my cutting, but I'm not sure if I can just open up and tell them that I've been doing it for a few months. I think it might just be better if I lie and tell them this is first time I done anything like that.

Feeling a pain shoot up my shoulder again, I look down and realize that I was rubbing my shoulder causing the five cuts to bleed, I curse under my breath as I hurry out of the kitchen and upstairs not stopping when I hear the three cheerios calling my name from the living room. Great, now their going follow me and probably ask questions. Maybe if I just tell them I had to use the restroom they'll let it go and I won't have to answer questions about it right now.

"Rach?" I hear Santana's voice behind me as I enter my room. Shit, they got up here quicker then I thought they would. "You okay?"

"Um, yeah. I just have to really go to the bathroom." I say turning my cut shoulder away from her.

"Why didn't you just use the bathroom downstairs?" Quinn asks raising a eyebrow at me. Ugh, of course she would just have to call me out on it.

"Well you see- " I started but was cut off by Brittany.

"Why are you bleeding?" She asks pointing to floor where there was a few drops of blood on the carpet. I didn't realize I was bleeding that bad. I quickly ran to bathroom trying to shut the door to only having it pushed forcefully back open. Looking up I'm met with fierce brown eyes, I sigh loudly before I walk over to sink and clean up my shoulder. Maybe, the longer I stand here cleaning up my shoulder and ignoring them they'll disappear, yeah right like that would ever happen. Glancing in the mirror I see three sets of eyes looking back at me. The pair of blue eyes are looking at me sadly, The hazel pair have sadness and worry in them with a hint of anger I think, Finally the last pair of eyes that are dark brown are furious with a mix of worry.

"Why did you lie?" Santana asks finally breaking the silence in the room.

"I just didn't want you guys to worry." I reply quietly looking down at the sink. The truth is I just wasn't ready to talk to them about this, but now there is no avoiding it.

"We just want to help, Rachel, but we can't do that if your not going be honest with us." Quinn says gently walking over to me and taking the wash cloth I have in my hand, cleaning my shoulder and arm.

"Did you cut again?" Santana asks as she looks up and down my shoulder as Quinn cleans it up.

"No. I was, um, rubbing my shoulder and I guess I rubbed it to hard, making it bleed." I answer trying to keep my eyes down toward the sink, away from the trio's eyes. I knew they didn't really believe me because I felt Santana pulling my sleeve up more checking my cut shoulder, while Brittany checked the other one. " I'm not lying."

"Well, were just checking. I mean you lied to us about just having to use the bathroom. So we have a right to worry." Santana grounded out a little harshly. I knew they were worried and that she didn't mean to use a harsh tone, but at that point something inside me snapped and I couldn't help but get a little defense and pissed.

"Right to worry? Really? Where were you guys a few months ago when I started to cut? Huh? Where were you last year when all I thought about was dying? Because you guys sure as hell weren't here worrying about me. All three of you were to damn busy tearing me down and making me feel like shit to even pay attention to me!" I yell shaking as I grip a hold of the sink trying to hold back my tears. I could feel their eyes on me and I hated it. I hated that I felt so helpless and worthless.

"Rachel, I know we treated you awful and I know it's going take awhile for you to trust us, but you need to believe us when we say we care and worry about you. Please just talk to us." Quinn whispers touching my arm gently. "please give us a chance."

"You shouldn't care or worry, because I'm worthless. No one loves or wants me. You was right earlier today Quinn." I say finally looking up at Quinn through the mirror, who had a unreadable expression on her face. " It would be better if I just wasn't around anymore."

"I didn't mean that, Rachel. I'm sorry for saying it and your not worthless." Quinn says in a shaky voice with tears in eyes. " I didn't mean it."

"Yeah, but your right though." I whisper softly feeling tears fall from eyes. "I am worthless."

"Stop saying that!" Santana yells making me jump a little.

"It's true though! I'm worthless and no one wants me, my mother doesn't want me, my dad's don't want me anymore, and everyone at school can't stand me. The damn Glee club, the club that's supposed to be like family doesn't even want anything to do with me. I never even got a chance in there and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of feeling like shit everyday!" I yell falling to my knees crying.

I feel the trio's arms wrap around me, holding my tightly, as I cry. The room is quiet all that can be heard is small sniffles coming from me. I'm thankful for the silence, because I know that I'm going have to talk about everything I just said. I bury my head against Santana's chest as I let out loud sob, thinking about my dad's and my mother. All I ever wanted was for them to love me and be there, but they don't and their not, and it's slowly killing me.

"Baby girl, let's go out there and sit on bed okay?" Santana says softly as I feel her lightly kiss the top of my head.

"Okay." I nod leaning back and wiping my eyes before I stand up, walking quickly from the bathroom before the trio even move from the floor.

Once I reach the bed I sit on the edge and look down at the floor, because I was so unsure of what do and my nerves was making it difficult to think. When I feel the bed dip, I look up to see the trio sitting with their backs against the headboard looking at me.

"Come here, baby girl." Santana says gently motioning for me to come sit with them. Sighing softly I crawl up to where their at stopping in front of Santana looking down again. My stomach is turning and it feels like someone is pounding on my head at the thought of everything I revealed to them without thinking.

Santana gently grabs my arms and pulls me to her so I can sit between her legs, leaning back against her she wraps her arms tightly around my waist. I smile a little when I feel her lips press against my temple.

"We know you don't really want to talk about what's going on, but we really wish you would, baby girl. So we can help you." Santana says softly as she kissing my head again. "So please just talk to us."

"I - I don't know where to begin or what to even say." I bite my bottom lip trying to hold the tears back. " I just don't want you guys to judge me."

"Sweetie, were not going judge you. We promise." Quinn reaches over and rubs my left arm gently before she grabs my hand and laces our fingers together.

"Please, just talk to us, Rae." Brittany says gently grabbing my other hand like Quinn did.

"Okay, I'll try, but I'm not promising anything." I close my eyes again. "What do you want to know?"

"In the bathroom you said that last year you wanted to die. Do you still feel like that?" Santana asks as I feel her fingertips gently rubbing my stomach.

"Sometimes." I reply quietly feeling tears burn my eyes again. " I just feel that everyone's life would be better if I did. It's not like anyone would miss me."

"We would miss you." Santana says laying her head on my shoulder. " So don't think that no one would miss you, because all three of us would. Baby girl, you mean so much to us. You really do."

" Sweetie, we know we treated you awful and were going spend everyday for the rest of our lives making it up to you." Quinn squeezes my hand gently.

"You can't die, Rae. We just finally got you. You can't leave me now!" Brittany cries throwing herself at me and hugging me tightly. " You can't."

I smile and giggle a little at Brittany when she moves and makes room between mine and Santana's legs, laying her head in my lap. Running my fingers through her beautiful blonde hair, I hear Quinn and Santana laugh a little at the adorable blonde's actions.

"I'm not going leave you, Britt." I say gently, really hoping I don't end up hurting her, because my life has come to point where I'm not if sure why I'm still even here or if I even want to be. I am going try to fix myself, so I don't hurt Brittany, Santana, or Quinn.

"Okay." I hear Brittany say snuggling closer to me.

"Rachel, you also mentioned something cutting for a few months and something about your dad's and mother. Where else have you cut and What did you mean about your dad's and mother?" Santana asks quietly as she still rubs my stomach gently.

"I'll talk about my mother and my dad's first. Well, as you all know I met my mother last year but I never told anyone what happened. When I met her I was happy at first, because I thought I was finally going have someone in my life who cared, but that didn't happen. She didn't want me because I wasn't the little baby she gave up sixteen years go. She told me I didn't need her." I pause for a second to compose myself and to think about what I'm going tell them about my dad's. "My dad's don't want anything to do with me anymore either. They don't even live in Lima anymore, they moved to California last year and signed this house over in my name, today actually. I wasn't really surprised though. They haven't really been around since I thirteen. Now they just put money in my back account and send me birthday gifts."

"They just left you here all by yourself? Why didn't tell you anyone?" Quinn asked squeezing my hand gently.

"I didn't think anyone would care and I don't want them to get into trouble." I reply quietly looking at Quinn, who smiles at me before she brings my hand up to her mouth and kisses it.

"You should have told someone, Sweetie. We would have cared if you told us or you could have told Mr. Schue." I huff when Quinn mentions Mr. Schue. As if he would have actually cared, sure he would have done something but that's just because he needs my talent. I was about to reply when I felt Santana body shaking a little, turning my head a little I see that Santana's face was red and her eyes were almost black. I knew that look, she was pissed and about to blow, so I done the only thing I could think of. I leaned in and placing little kisses all over her face. She blinked a few times before a huge grin appeared on her face, staring into my eyes lovingly.

"S, You should see your face! It's priceless!" Quinn laughs loudly. I begin to laugh as Santana blushes mumbling something about a tiny diva is going be bad for her badassness.

"Badassness? Tana you know that's not a word right." I laugh harder as she starts to pout. " Aww, you look so adorable! Your badassness is so adorable."

As soon as those words leave my mouth both blondes laugh so hard that tears form in their eyes and Quinn almost rolls off the bed.

"I'm not adorable and my badassness is far from adorable!" Santana huffs crossing her arms over her chest pouting more. Glaring at the two blondes.

" And shut up you two!"

"Aww, is the adorable badass getting mad?" Quinn asks still laughing.

"San, you are adorable." Brittany says with a smile on her face looking at the pouting Latina behind me.

"I hate you all!" Santana says looking away from us all.

" Oh, you do huh?" I ask with a mischievous smile playing on my lips.

"Yes." She huffs out still looking away from us.

"Okay, then I guess that we'll just go downstairs without you." I shrug my shoulders and start to move when I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist pulling me to them. "Thought you hated us?"

"I changed my mind." she replies and kisses my cheek causing me to laugh a little.

"And everyone thinks I'm dramatic." I say as I smile at the three cheerio.

"Funny." Santana says. " Now, baby girl you still need to answer my other question."

I was really hoping they forgot about that, but I'm never that lucky. Biting my lip nervously I try to look everywhere else but at them. I already know what their going say and ask after I tell them.

"Rach, come on talk to us. Were not going judge you." Santana says as she holds me tighter.

"I cut on my shoulders, stomach, and hips." I mumble out quickly looking down at my hands.

"How often?" Quinn asks moving closer to me.

"It's not a big deal." I reply still looking down.

"Answer the question, Rach." Santana said in hard tone.

"Like, I said it's not a big deal. I don't have a problem. I can control it if I want to, but don't!" I said a little loudly trying to move away from Santana but she wouldn't let me move. " Let me go!"

"No! not until you answer." Santana growled and hold me close to her.

"Fine! I cut once a week, maybe more depending on if I get a urge. Happy, now let me go!" I yell struggling to get away from Santana.

"Just relax Rach. Please, baby girl." Santana whispers in my ear. " We got you and were not going hurt you."

"Just let me go, Please." I cry out as my body racks with sobs, breaking down. My throat was tighten and my breathing became labored as I fought against Santana more. Quinn and Brittany grab a hold of me to trying to calm me down. "Please."

"Sweetie, you need to calm down and breath." Quinn says gently rubbing my arms soothingly.

"Baby girl, breath like me. Come on, Rach, focus on my breathing." Santana says softly pressing herself up against my back firmly so I can feel her body. My throat started to loosen up a bit as I started to calm down. " That's it baby girl."

"Is she okay?" I hear Brittany asks in a shaky voice. I hate that I'm upsetting her.

"She'll be ok, Britt." Quinn tells Brittany gently as I feel her squeezing my hand again. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself more then Brittany.

"If I let you go, Baby girl, you won't move, right?" Santana whispers against my ear. Nodding my head I took a deep breath, relaxing my body more as Santana loosens her grip on my waist. I hated this feeling of feeling so trapped and lost.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly looking up at the trio, who had tears in their eyes. The looks on their faces were like kicks to stomach, they were all to beautiful to be crying especially over me. I'm not worth it.

"You have nothing to be sorry for sweetie." Quinn smiles a little at me and squeezes my hand again. " Were going help you get through this, Ok?"

"Your stuck with us now, Baby girl." Santana kisses my head and hugs me gently.

"Now we get to show you how much we love you, Rae. Take you on dates, cook you food, well San and Quinn will cook for you because I'm not allowed to touch the stove, and we can take you to feed the ducks. The ducks are so cute!" Brittany says excitedly as her face lights up talking about the ducks in the park. I smile and giggle at the tall blonde who is bouncing up and down on my bed a little as she begs Santana to go to the park tomorrow.

" We'll go Britt. That is if Rach will go to." Santana tells Brittany laughing lightly. Brittany squeals happily and looks at me.

"You'll go to right, Rae? You have to!" Brittany pouts at me. She looks so adorable pouting and right then I know I'm never going be able to say no to her, ever.

"of course, Britt." I smile at her. Brittany claps her hands and bounces up and down on the bed more.

"Yay!" Brittany yells.

"She's going have Rachel whipped in record time." Quinn giggles.

"I think your right, Q." Santana laughs as she started to rub my stomach again. " You know Baby girl, you agreed to go feed the ducks faster then me and Q."

"That's because I'm not mean." I say jokingly. Quinn and Santana both gasp at me before they lightly push me causing me to laugh.

"My pout never fails!" Brittany grinned. Yep, I'm never going be able to say no to girl, but I really don't mind as long as she keep smiling like that.

"I need to go clean up the kitchen." I say remembering the popcorn I left in the bowl and microwave earlier.

"I'll clean it up for you later, ok? How about we just relax and watch some TV. It's starting to get late." Santana says as she lays down more and pulls me closer.

"Okay." I smile feeling Santana kiss the back of my neck. I look over at Quinn and point to the stand behind her. " The remote is in the top drawer, Quinn."

She nods and moves to get the remote handing it to me, before her and Brittany lay down cuddling. I smile at them, turning the TV looking for something to watch. Settling on some cartoon Brittany wanted to watch. After about fifteen minutes of watching the TV, I started to feel tired today really took a lot out me. I know tomorrow is going be long to, because I'm still going have to talk about everything. It's going be hard to do, I'm so scared of letting them in completely. My heart wants to let them in, but my mind is telling me not to trust them because I could end up getting hurt worse. I look around at the trio as they watch the TV and I couldn't help but to feel safe and happy for once. Yawning, I snuggle closer to Santana and close my eyes and letting sleep over take me, knowing that this is where I belong. I belong with them and I'm willing to risk what's left of me to be with them.

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><p><strong>Next chapter I'm thinking should be in Santana's POV or Quinn's...let me know what you think<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Glee or the characters used**

**I would like to thank everyone who has favorited the story and everyone who has reviewed..**

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><p><strong>Santana's POV<strong>

"Hey S, is she asleep?" I hear Quinn ask in a low whisper making sure not to wake up the tiny diva in my arms or the blonde dancer in her arms.

"Yeah. Let's go clean up the kitchen." I whisper back before I slowly move away from Rachel. Once I get up from the bed I stop and look back down at the tiny brunette in the huge bed with a little smile on face. God, she is so beautiful. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about everything that Rachel has gone through and how me and Quinn have tormented her. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't.

"You coming?" Quinn asks from the door.

"Yeah." I reply walking toward the door where Quinn was standing.

"She looks so tiny in that huge bed. Even Britt looks small in it." Quinn chuckles as we walk down the hallway.

When we enter the kitchen, Quinn goes and starts put the plates that was used for the movie night in the dishwasher. While I dump out the popcorn from the bowl on the counter and throw the bag in microwave away. We don't talk the whole time we clean up the kitchen, probably because were both not sure what to say right now. Everything that has happened today has been crazy for all of us and we both know that everything is going change from now on, hopeful for the better. I just really hope we can help Rachel or find her help if we can't do anything. I do know that all three us aren't going anywhere and were going be there for Rachel every step of the way.

Cleaning the kitchen only took about fifteen minutes. Once we were done we went into the living room and sat on the couch, just staring at the TV that was still on from earlier.

"Okay the silence is killing me." Quinn says leaning back more on the couch. "We need to talk about all this."

"I'm not sure what to say, Q. I mean we just found out the girl we all love has been living in this house by herself for over a year, her dad's are dicks, her mom doesn't want her, she's cutting and has been for a few months, and to top it off she admitted she has had suicidal thoughts. It's messed up and we helped break her to this point of cutting and not wanting to live. I hate myself for it." I say feeling tears run down my face.

"I know S, I feel horrible about it. I can't believe we was so blind and never seen the signs. What if we can't help? What if she kills herself, S? I don't think I could handle that. She means so much to me, all of us. God, were so stupid to have done the stuff we done." Quinn lays her head back against the couch trying to calm herself down as she cries. I move over and take her into my arms and kiss her tears away gently. I really hate seeing her and Brittany so upset, just as much as I hate see Rachel so upset.

"We will help her. If we can't then we'll find someone that can. I'm not going let her go without putting up a fight and I know you and Britt won't either. First, thing were going do is hide all the knifes, and search her bathroom and room for razors or whatever she has been using, and then were going find any pills or poisons and hide them to. Were not going chance anything, okay?" I tell Quinn as I rub her back lovingly. "We'll have to wait until tomorrow to search her room and her bathroom, but lets go check the other bathroom, kitchen, and other rooms."

"I say we-" Quinn started to say but was interrupted by Brittany walking into the living room with red eyes from crying.

"I had a nightmare." She whispered making her way over to us and sitting between us clinging to Quinn and me. She starts to cry burying her face into Quinn's neck.

"Shhh, sweetheart, we got you. What was your nightmare about?" Quinn asks holding her close.

"R-Rae." Brittany sobs. I knew that all this was harder for her then me and Quinn, because she's so innocent and sweet.

"What about Rach, Baby?" I ask gently rubbing her back.

"She left us." She answers quietly still crying. I knew what she meant when she said she left us. She dreamed that Rachel killed herself. Feeling tears in my eyes again I look away, I didn't want to think about it, but I couldn't help it. I shook the images of Rachel's lifeless body out of my mind.

"She's not going leave us, sweetheart." Quinn tells her kissing her cheek. After about five minutes or so Brittany started to calm down and yawn.

"Sleepy, Baby?" I ask smiling at her.

"Yeah, I think I'm going go back upstairs and go to sleep. Are you guys going come?" Brittany asks looking at me then at Quinn.

"We have something to do first then we'll be up, okay?" Quinn tells her as she kisses her on the lips gently. " We love you."

"I love you both too. Night San and Q." Brittany gets up and hugs and kisses me before she heads toward the stairs.

"Night baby." I call after her.

"I hate seeing Britt so upset."

"I know, I do too, but everything will be ok. Britt is a lot stronger then we give her credit for." I say standing up. "Come on let's go take care of things so when can go to bed. We have that meeting with coach tomorrow afternoon and that Glee party tomorrow night."

"Okay, I'll take care of the upstairs and you check down here." Quinn says getting up and walking toward the steps.

Walking back into the kitchen I sigh loudly running my fingers through my hair. I have no idea where to start, really. I guess I'll get all the knifes, shrugging I walk around the kitchen going through all the drawers getting all the knifes and sharp things. Then I look in the cabinets for anything I might have missed, stopping when I spot a few glasses. She wouldn't be that desperate and break glasses to cut would she? I guess it's better to be safe than sorry. I gather up all the glasses putting them on the counter top, before I go look for a box to put them in. I walk over to the supply closet in the hallway and find a small shoebox. This will work. I go back into the kitchen and put everything in the box, looking up to see Quinn walking in.

"You done?" I ask putting the cleaners and poisons I found in a bag.

"Yeah, I got all the pills and a few other things." Quinn replies putting the bag on the counter. "When I was gathering up the bottles of pills I couldn't help but to get a image of her popping pills. S, I'm so scared that were not going be able to fix this."

"Come here." I tell her wrapping my arms around her tightly. " Were going fix this and help Rachel get better. Then you know what were going do? Were going finish the two years of high school and then all four us are going go take New York by storm. New York isn't going know what hit it when the unholy trinity and tiny gold star take over."

"I hope so, S." Quinn whispers kissing me. " I really hope so."

"I know so." I reply with a smile and kiss her again. " I still need to go check the bathroom down here, living room, and basement."

"I'll help." Quinn says grabbing my hand as we head out of the kitchen to check the other parts of the house.

After about a hour of searching high and low in every other part of the house we go back to the kitchen and put everything on the counter.

"I think we got everything." I look down at everything we found. A bag full of pill bottles, two box of knifes and glasses, and three bags of cleaners and poisons. Damn, I never realized we found that much stuff until now.

"Where are we going put this stuff at?" Quinn asks looking over everything to.

"I'm not sure. We might need to lock it up somewhere in the house or basement." I say thinking of someplace to put everything. " We could ask Puck to come put a lock on one of the supply closets."

"Puck? I don't know if Rachel would like that to well. Plus, Puck is never nice to her."

"Actually, if you think about it Puck is the only in Glee that doesn't pick on her or treat her awful and he did beat up Karofsky when he found out about him shoving Rachel into that locker hurting her arm last year."

"I forgot about that. Still I don't think Rachel would want him to know. I mean we still wouldn't know anything if we didn't catch her in the bathroom earlier tonight."

"Maybe we could have him to find us a safe or something with a lock and we'll make up a story about why we need it." I say picking up the box of knifes and glasses. "Until then I guess we'll just have to put this stuff in the basement."

"Okay, I guess that would work." Quinn nods and picks up all bags of stuff, before we go back down in the basement. " How are we going check Rachel's room and bathroom later today?"

"I was thinking that we could have Britt take her to the park to feed the ducks and we'll tell them that we have something to do but we'll meet them there."

"That would work. You know Britt, will love the idea." Quinn laughs as we set all the stuff in our hands in the corner of the basement.

"Yeah." I laugh a little before I yawn. Looking at the time on my phone I see it's 2 a.m. Ugh, I didn't know it was that late and we have a meeting with at noon. "Come on we need to get to bed."

Entering Rachel's room I couldn't help but to smile at the two girls on the bed all curled up together. I look over and see Quinn taking out her phone and snapping a picture of them with a smile on her.

"Their so cute." Quinn says looking down at the picture she just took before showing it to me.

"They are." I smile again looking at the picture. Rachel was curled up in a little ball with her head laying on Britt's chest and Britt's arms were wrapped protectively around the tiny diva. "Night, Babe."

"Night, hon." Quinn hugs me and makes her way over to bed crawling in beside Britt, curling up against her putting her arm over her waist.

I walk over and get in beside Rachel, leaning over and kissing the tiny diva on the cheek before settling in beside her putting my arm around her waist letting sleep over take me.

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><p>I woke up feeling someone shaking me gently and saying my name over and over, groaning I roll over slightly and look up with sleepy eyes to see Britt smiling at me.<p>

"Good morning, San." She says leaning over and kissing my cheek. "Quinn, told me to come get you up so you can go shower and eat before we leave for the meeting."

"Good morning, what time is it?" I ask sitting up rubbing my eyes.

"It's a little bit after ten." she replies making her way to door. "Quinnie and Rae made breakfast."

"Okay, Britt, I'm going go hop in the shower I'll be down in a minute." I get up out of the bed and stretch before I make way to the bathroom grabbing the clothes I wore yesterday night.

Stepping in the shower I turn the water on, letting the warm water hit my body as I thought of what was going today. I know that today is going be rough for all of us, I just hope that Rachel won't push us away now. Sighing, I quickly finish my shower and get dressed. When I fix my hair out of the corner of my eye I see the was cloth that Rachel used last night when her arm was bleeding. The blood on it was now a faded red color, but it still made my stomach turn as I saw flashes of Rachel cutting, her cleaning up her arm, and look on her face last night go through my mind. Her eyes were so emotionless last night when she was cleaning up her arm. It truly scared me. Shaking my head I grab the wash cloth and throw it in trash can before I make my way downstairs.

Reaching the hallway downstairs I smelled coffee. Thank God, coffee will

Definitely wake me up. I hear Rachel laughing with Britt. It makes me smile to hear her laughing.

"Hey, S." I hear Quinn say as I enter the kitchen.

"Hey, Q." I walk over to the coffee pot and grab a mug pouring me some. I sigh when I take the first drink. Coffee is like the best drink in world. Seriously, who ever decided to make it is truly my hero.

"How can you drink that with out sugar?" Our tiny diva ask when I turn around facing them as I lean up against counter nursing my mug.

"Sugar takes the taste away." I say wrinkling my nose up at the thought of sugar in coffee.

"Weird." She mumbles taking a bite of her food. "Morning by the way, Tana."

"Morning, Baby girl. Took you long enough to say." I laugh a little as I walk over to her and kiss her on the cheek lightly, causing her to blush.

"Sorry."

"It's ok, beautiful." I smile at her as she stands up and kisses my cheek, before she takes her plate to sink and walk over to the stove. I take this opportunity to steal her chair laughing at her when she turns around looking at me and huffing.

"You stole my seat." She says with one hand on her hip and the other holding a plate of food.

"I don't see your name on it." I stick my tongue out at her. I hear Brittany and Quinn laughing at us.

"Your lucky I find you cute." She mumbles putting the plate down in front of me. I grab her arm gently before she walks away and pull her on my lap wrapping my arms around her waist as she giggles a little.

"You find me cute, huh?" I ask squeezing her against my body gently.

"Maybe." She laughs when I poke her sides. I look over to see Brittany and Quinn smiling at us. All four us here together feels so right.

"Maybe?"

"Yep." She turns and smiles at me before she kisses the tip of nose, trying to stand up." You better eat."

"Okay, but sit here with me." I tighten my hold on her.

"How can you eat with me on your lap?" She ask still looking at me.

"Easy, watch." I reply smiling before I grab the fork and take a bite of the waffles on my plate. " See."

"I see." She laughs and relaxes against me as I eat my breakfast. " What are you guys doing today?"

"We have a meeting with coach Sylvester at noon. Then we thought that you and B could go to the park while me and S go get clothes from her house." Quinn tells her getting up and taking her empty plate and mine to the sink.

"Yay! Rae, were going have so much fun at the park." Britt claps her hands excitedly bouncing up and down in her chair. Rachel smiles at her and nods her head.

"You okay, Rach?" I ask laying my head on her shoulder.

"I'm fine, Tana." She smiles at me, but I could tell something was wrong. The smile was the fake one she's been using a lot lately.

"I know something is wrong. So talk to me, Baby girl."

"I just don't want you guys to leave me here." she whispers lowly, almost to low for me to hear.

"Rach, your coming to meeting with us. It's just a meeting between us and coach." I tell her hugging her tightly.

"But your coach hates me."

"No, she doesn't Rae." Britt says as pours herself another glass of milk. "She actually likes you a lot. Why do you think she's always giving Mr. Schue a hard time."

"I don't understand. She's always trying to ruin the Glee club and she's always mean to me." Rachel bites her lip with a confused look on her face. She's so adorable when she does that.

"She's mean to you, because she knows you deserve better then this stupid little town, so she's trying to push you more so you won't stay here and she's not really trying to ruin Glee club, she's trying to make Schue quit. Coach is actually trying to help, because she thinks that Mr. Schue is just holding you back and that you need someone better as a teacher then him. That's why she become Co-leader last year, she thought if she could work from the inside that Schue would quit and then she could find someone to take his place." Quinn explains to Rachel, who looks like she just entered the twilight zone. Her mouth is slightly open as she stares at Quinn, the look on her face makes me giggle a little bit.

"So, umm she's never hated me and she's trying to make Mr. Schue quit so she can find a better Glee director, because she wants me to leave this town after high school?" Rachel asks slowly still processing what Quinn just told her.

"Yes."

"How do you guys know this exactly?"

"Well, you see Rach, She knows about all three of us being together and she also knows how we feel about you." I tell her as she turns around to look at me.

"I'm so confused. For the last two years I thought everyone in that school hated me and now I'm finding out that the unholy trinity and coach Sylvester have never hated me at all and that all four have been trying to help me and save me from this little town. Do you all realize how messed up that sounds? How much hurt you all put me through, because you all thought this was for the best?" She tells us standing up slowly with her back turned to us. Oh no, she hates us. She's not going be able to forgive any of us for what we've done.

"Rach I-" I start to say but she cuts me off when she turns around and puts her hand up to stop me from talking.

"I guess I should thank you. Although I'm sure there was other ways you guys could have dealt with this, but you guys done this for me. It's the sweetest thing anyone has done for me. Messed up and twisted but still sweet." She smiles her 100 watt smile and yells holding her arms out.

"Group hug!"

Brittany squeals running over to her and hugs her tightly. Quinn and I smile and laugh as we walk over and take the tiny diva into our arms, holding her close.

"You scared us for a second." Quinn whispers.

"Sorry."

"It's okay sweetie. Were just glad your not mad at us."

"So, how long has she known about you guys being together and how did she find out about you guys liking me?"

"Well, she over heard us in the auditorium the first time we ever seen you. After that she called us into her office and told us she knew about our relationship and she was okay with it. Then she told us she heard us talking about you in the auditorium and agreed with us on the fact that you was born to be a star and no one should hold you back. Although she did try to talk us out of letting you go." I tell her as we still hug her tightly. We finally have our missing piece and we didn't want to let her go.

"I wish you guys would have listened to her about not letting me go." She whispers looking up at all of us with a smile. " You guys have a lot of making up to do though."

"We do." I say with smile.

"We're going make it up to you everyday from now until forever." Quinn kisses her nose, causing her to giggle.

"You better."

"We will Rae, Your stuck with us now." Brittany kisses her cheek gently.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." She leans up and kiss each of us on the cheek gently before we release her and sit back down. She sits in the seat in front of me beside Quinn, looking down at the table in thought. " Does this mean you guys our going tell her what's been going on with me?"

"No, sweetie. We won't tell her anything." Quinn tells her rubbing her arm gently.

"Thank you." She smiles at Quinn. "So when are we leaving?"

"In about twenty minutes." I tell her looking at the time on my phone. "The meeting won't take long. Then we'll take you and Britt to park and drop you off before me and Quinn go to my house."

"Oh, yeah Sanny, I called and told our parents we was staying at Rae's." Brittany tells us looking up from the coloring book she was coloring in."They told me to tell you and Quinn to call. Oh, and they said Hi and welcome to the family Rae."

"Wait, all your parents know about me? And they know you guys are together?" Rachel asks looking at all us again.

"Yeah." I reply simply.

"Explain." She raises a eyebrow at us.

"They knew about all three of us before freshman year. Heck, they figured it out before we even realized it our self. As for knowing about our feelings for you they kind of figured that out to when we performed at Regional's last year, because I guess all three of us looked like love sick puppies when you sung Faithfully with that idiot Finnoscence." I tell her reaching across the table and holding her hand gently.

"That's good that their okay with your guys relationship." She smiles at us again and squeezes my hand. "But what did mean Britt mean by she called them? I mean are they not home?"

"For the past three years all our family's go on vacation for two weeks. We couldn't go with them for the last two years because of cheerios, so we stay together until they get back." Quinn explains.

"Oh."

"You know their going to want to meet you when they get back." I tell her holding back my laugh as her eyes go wide and she looks from me to Quinn to Brittany.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, they'll love you, Rach." I say smiling at her. " I know were not together or anything yet, but their still going want to meet you."

"This is a lot of information to take in." She says squeezing my hand gently again. " I do want to be with all of you, but I need time to process all this and time to be able to trust you all."

"We know, sweetie." Quinn rubs her arm and smiles at her.

"We'll wait forever if we have to." I tell her. " Were not going give up. We should have fought for you from the beginning."

"Maybe, but I have feeling that this was how it was supposed to happen." She says standing up and walking to the counter to grab her keys. " You guys are going be late if we don't leave now."

"I take it your wanting to drive?" I asking playfully.

"Duh, Now come on." She says as she walks out of the kitchen swaying her hips teasingly, making me and my two blonde girlfriends stop and stare.

"Damn." all of us say at the same time.

"Stop staring and get a moving." She asks turning slightly so we can see the smirk on her face before she continues toward the door laughing.

All three of us look at each other and run out of the kitchen after her. Once we reached the car we fought over who got to sit upfront.

"I was here first."

"No, I was, Q!"

"Sanny, I was here first!"

"Britt, you get to sit up here with me." Rachel says with a smile and laughs when she sees me and Quinn pout getting into the back seat. " You guys are like little kids."

"Thank you, Rae." Britt kisses her cheek before she puts the car into reverse and backs out of the driveway.

"Your welcome Britt."

"Unfair."

"Bullshit."

"Santana! Watch your mouth!" Rachel yells at me looking at me through the rearview mirror. "Someone is asking to be in trouble."

She smirks and winks at me. Oh wow, did it just get really hot in here or is it just me. I shift in my seat and squeak a little, causing the others to laugh at me.

"Who knew the big bad Santana could make a noise like that." Rachel jokes. "Makes me wonder what other sounds you make."

At that the two blondes go silent and we all look at Rachel with a shocked expression.

"Wow, you all got quiet." She says looking over at Britt then in the rearview mirror at me and Quinn. "Umm, Why you guys looking at me like that?"

The car stays silent for another five minutes until Rachel's eyes go wide, she blushes and she realizes what she just said. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure you didn't."

"Tease."

"I make some really sexy noises." Brittany says still looking at Rachel. Rachel blushes more and tries to keep her eyes on the road, causing me and Quinn to laugh at her. Rachel shakes her head and turns on the radio.

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><p>The rest of the car ride was pretty quiet, only thing that could be heard was Rachel singing lowly with the radio. The silence in the car didn't bother any of us, maybe because we were just happy to hear Rachel singing again. All three of us missed her singing in Glee, but we understand why she stopped. No one made it easy for her in there and the three us didn't help either. Last night when she sung those two songs you could tell how broken and lost she was, like she lost her will to even sing. Now, though she seems a little happier singing and I really hope it stays that way.<p>

When we pull into the school lot I see Puck coming out of the field house carrying his football gear, remember what me and Quinn needed to ask him, I tell Rachel to park by his truck. She looks a little confused and wary about it but does it anyways. Quinn tells Britt to go ahead and take Rachel into the school.

"Puck!" I yell getting out of car with Quinn quickly.

"Hey, ladies." He smiles and hugs us once we reach him. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Meeting with coach." Quinn tells him.

"Oh, cool. You guys came with Berry?" He asks raising a eyebrow. "This isn't some plan to hurt her is it? Because you guys are my girls but I won't let you guys hurt her. I'm tired of just standing by and letting people hurt her."

"Were not going hurt her, Puck. We're done with hurting her too." I tell him. He still looks like he doesn't believe it. "Trust us."

"Okay." He nods. "You guys going tell me the story of how you guys decided to change your ways?"

"We will later, but right now we need a favor." I tell him. " No asking questions right now, okay?"

"Okay, now you got me really curious."

"Can you get us a safe or something like it with a lock?"

"A safe?" He raises a eyebrow again and looks at us like were crazy. " You know I really want to know why you need one."

"I told you no questions. Just answer. Yes or no?" I huff crossing my arms across my chest.

" Yeah sure I can get you one of those big locker things with a lock. That work?" he asks and we nod. "When do you need it?"

"Soon as possible." Quinn answers for me.

"Okay, I can probably get one today. Whose house am I taking it to?"

"Rachel's house. We'll be there by 2:30. You think you can get it by then?" I ask, as I hear the rest of the football coming out of the field house making me roll my eyes when they cheer for Puck, thinking his going get lucky with us or something. Stupid boys.

"Yeah and I except you guys to explain why you need it and what is going on with you and Rachel." He tells us as he flips off his stupid team mates. Puck really is a sweet guy. He's the only one who has never hit on us, he's like our big brother.

"Deal. We got to go before coach has a fit. We'll see you later."

"We'll text you when were on our way to Rachel's house."

We both hug and kiss his cheek before we take off toward the school. Walking into the school we see coach Sylvester, talking and laughing with Rachel and Britt in the hallway. I share a confused look with Quinn, coach never laughs.

"Look who finally decided to join us." Coach says looking at us. "You two are late."

"Umm we had-" Quinn starts to say but is cut off by coach raising her hand.

"You two know what happens when your late." She says in her scary voice. We both gulp, looking at her with fear. The last time anyone was late they ended up having to run around the track all night. I look at Rachel who is trying hard not to laugh and then I look back at coach who starts to laugh.

"You should see your guys faces." Rachel laughs pointing at us. We look at them confused.

"Huh?"

"Rachel, told me you guys had to talk to the Puckerman boy. I was just messing with you."

"Oh." Is all I can say.

"Britt, was telling me you all finally told Rachel how you all felt." Coach says as she motions for us to walk into her office with her. "I'm really glad you three came to your senses and told her."

"We are to, coach." Quinn says as all four us sit down on the chairs in her office.

" Care to tell me when this happened?" Coach asks leaning back in her chair behind her desk.

"Last night." I reply with a little smile.

"Good, I'm happy for you all. You all deserve to be happy and I'm guessing you guys told Rachel about me."

"They did." Rachel answers smiling. Coach smiles at her before looking at me.

"S, go with her and get her a uniform and a turtleneck."

"Uniform? Why?" Rachel asks looking at her weirdly.

"You're a cheerio now." Coach replies like it was a dumb question.

"But-" Rachel starts to say but coach cuts her off.

"No buts you're a cheerio now. You don't have to cheer or anything, but you'll be on the team so I can keep a better eye on you." Coach tells her gently. I've never seen Coach like this before.

"O-Okay." Rachel says still a little confused. I take her hand a lead her out of the office. Walking through the locker room I couldn't help but to think about Rachel in a cheerios uniform. Man, it's going be torture. Sweet torture.

"Never thought I would be a cheerio." Rachel laughs a little.

"Are you going to cheer?" I ask as we reach the room where the uniforms are.

"Maybe." She shrugs and looks around the room where all the uniforms and gear are. "Wow, that's a lot of stuff."

"Yeah, coach made Figgins add this room just for all this stuff." I say entering the room and looking for a uniform and turtleneck for her. After about ten minutes I finally find the smallest uniform I can find and hand it to her.

"Thanks." She smiles and kisses my cheek before walking out to try it on. "I'll meet you back in the office."

"Okay." I say walking back to the office where coach and my girlfriends waited.

"You find one?" Coach asks as I sit back down.

"Yeah, she's trying it on now." I nod with a smile.

"She's going look so hot." Brittany says dreamily. Quinn giggles but nods her head.

"You three are totally whipped and you're not even dating her yet." Coach smirks at us. Quinn and Brittany blush as I huff at the idea. I'm not whipped.

"They might be whipped, but I'm not." I mumble.

"Tana, Come here." I hear Rachel say from the door. I jump up and and walk over to her quickly.

"You okay?" I ask looking at her. Then I hear the three blondes behind me laughing. I turn and look at them. "What?"

"Not whipped, huh?" Quinn laughs and then it hits me, She heard us.

"You little." I turn to see her smiling at me. I instantly smile at her.

" Your so cute." She kisses my cheek. "So how do I look?"

She walks into the middle of the office and spins in a little circle. I think I'm drooling. She looks so sexy in that uniform.

"Hot." Britt says standing up and hugging her tightly.

"You look good, sweetie." Quinn stands and hugs her too.

"Sue approved." Coach smiles at her.

"Tana?" I look in her eyes and blush at being caught checking her out. " Are you drooling?"

My eyes widen and I reach up to wipe my mouth. She starts laughing at me and walks back over to me and hugs me tightly, I wrap my arms around her and hold her.

"You look great, Baby girl." I tell her and kiss her cheek.

"Now the reason I wanted you guys to meet me today is because I finally figured out how to ruin William and his little group." Coach tells us with a look that makes me shiver a little.

"how?" Rachel asks taking my hand leading me over to sit.

"Shelby Corcoran is how."

I feel Rachel squeeze my hand tightly at the mention of her mothers name.

"Coach you know that's Rachel's mother?"

"Yes, Q, I know. She contacted me a few weeks ago."

"What? Why?" Rachel asks with wide eyes.

"She wants to fix things between the two of you. Which is why I'm glad you're here and that my girls finally told you their feelings, because now it makes my job a lot easier."

"Coach? What do you mean?" I ask looking at Rachel making sure she's okay.

"Well, I know how you feel about your mother Rachel and when she first contacted me I was very wary of it, because I've seen how you've changed over the course of the last few months and I didn't want to upset you more or let someone in that would hurt you even more. But, once I talked to her. I realized that she's really sorry for what she done and how she acted. She loves you very much, Rachel and wants to try to fix things between you two. Now, I'm not going tell you why she acted like she did last year, but I will tell you that she had a good reason to and she was never far from you." Coach tells Rachel, who looks like she just seen a ghost.

"Coach, Do you think this is a good idea?" I ask looking at her. " I don't want her to hurt Rachel again."

"S, I know you all don't want her to get hurt anymore and she won't not with all of us in her corner now."

"Are you okay, Rae?" Britt asks as she kneels in front of Rachel.

"I'm just a little shocked and confused." Rachel says quietly. " But I trust you, coach."

"Good." Coach smiles at Rachel. " You guys are free to go. Rachel, Shelby and I will be at your house at 5:30 tonight, okay?"

"Okay." Rachel nods as we all stand and Rachel walks over and hugs coach, who just smiles and hugs her back. "Thank you."

"Your welcome, Kiddo. I'll see you all later."

"Bye." We all says as we walk out of the office. Today has turned out to be a very weird and interesting day. I just hope Rachel we'll be okay and not be to upset when Shelby tells her whatever she has to tell her. If it doesn't go well, then the unholy trinity we'll pick up the pieces.

"I'm going go change." Rachel tells us walking away quickly. I stare after her, really hoping she's okay.

"Do you think we should trust, Shelby?" Quinn asks as Rachel disappears around the corner.

"You know, coach wouldn't hurt Rae." Britt says as we lean up against the wall to wait for Rachel.

"Britt's right, Babe."

* * *

><p>Rachel decides to let's Quinn drive since her and Britt was going to park. I sit in the back with Rachel holding her hand. She was being really quiet and it was starting to worry me a little.<p>

"Baby girl, your awful quiet." I say looking over at her.

"Sorry, Tana. I was just thinking." She smiles at me.

"Want to talk about it?"

"I'm just wondering what all my mom has to say, is all. You guys we'll be there right?"

"Of course, Sweetie." Quinn smiles at her through the rearview mirror."

"Thank you." She tells us smiling.

"No need to thank us, Rae. We're always going be here for you." Britt says turning around and smiling at her.

"Today has really turned out to be a weird day and I think it's only just started." Rachel says looking out the window.

I think she's right about that. Today has only half begun.


	6. Chapter 6

Pulling back into the driveway, after dropping the diva and blonde dancer off at the park and grabbing their stuff from Santana's house, Quinn texted Puck telling him that they were at Rachel's and he could bring the locker.

"Well, let's go inside and check out her room before Puck gets here." Santana said, getting out of the car and walking into the big house.

Sitting the suitcases they had in their hands off to the side of the hallway they made their way upstairs. Entering the room, Santana went to bathroom to search while Quinn searched the bedroom. The blonde girl searched through all the dresser doors, finding nothing, before looking under the bed and mattress.

"Jesus." The blonde heard her Latina say from the bathroom in a low tone. Quinn got up and walked to doorway, eyes widen at the sight she saw. There sat her girlfriend on the bathroom floor with a least ten razors of different sizes laying on the floor in front of her and two sharp looking pocket knifes in her hands.

"She uses them all." Quinn heard herself say. She knew it was dumb to say, because she knew Rachel probably did use them all, but she was in shock and had no idea what to say.

"I think this a little more serious then we thought, Q." Santana whispered, looking down at all the razors on the floor.

"What are we going do?" Quinn asks looking at Santana with tears forming in her eyes. She knew that Rachel's cutting was bad from how she denied having a problem, but she didn't know it was this bad and from the looks of all the razors and two knifes it's really bad.

"I don't know, Q, but I think we need to tell Shelby and coach tonight." Santana picks up all the razors careful and puts in them trash bag she found in linen closet.

"You know, Rachel is going be mad at us if tell them."

"I know but we don't have any other choice, Q. We can't take any chances at this point. I've been thinking of telling Shelby and coach since we left school earlier, because I got a feel that Rachel was having an urge to cut and then I find all these razors and stuff. I'm scared of what would happen if we don't talk to them about it." Santana says standing up and carrying the bag out of the bathroom.

"What do you mean you got a feeling like Rachel was having an urge to cut?" Quinn asks walking over to the closet to check for any more razors or knifes.

"When I was holding her hand she was shaking a little bit, so I turned to ask her if she was okay. That's when I saw her taking her finger and digging it into her forearm and dragging it across her skin like she was trying to cut her arm with her fingernail. She done it for a few minutes and then relaxed a little. It was like she didn't even know she was doing it or that I was watching her." Santana explains sitting on the edge of the bed watching Quinn look through the closet.

"She's going hate us." Quinn says closing the closet door and walking over to Santana.

"Maybe, but I think she'll realize that were just helping her."

"Yeah, well it looks like she doesn't have anything in her room, so let's go downstairs and wait for Puck." Quinn says grabbing Santana's hand gently walking out of the tiny diva's room and downstairs.

"Hey ladies!" Puck yelled as they entered the living making both girl jump and Santana drop the bag, causing all the razors to slide across floor. "Why hell do you have razors?"

"Shit, Puck, give us a heart attack." Santana growls at him and picks up the razors. Puck walks over and picks up the last razor and glares at the two cheerios.

"Why do you two have razors and where is Rachel? What did you do?" He glares at the pair. It's not that he didn't trust them, but come on what would you be thinking if the two girls who made the tiny diva's life hell was carrying a bag with razors and the tiny diva was no where in sight.

"We didn't do anything, Puck. Give me that razor so I can go throw them in the trash." Santana glares back at him. "Then we'll explain, okay?"

"Fine, Lopez, but you both better not have hurt her." He hands the razor to Santana who puts it in the bag and walks outside to the trash bin in front of the house throwing the razors away.

"You might want to sit Puck it's going take a little while to explain." Quinn sighs and sits down on the couch, waiting for Santana to come back.

"I'll stand." Puck glares down at the blonde.

"Sit your ass down, Puckerman and stop staring at my girl like that!" Santana yells standing in the doorway of the living room.

"Your girl?" Puck asks looking at Santana like she had three heads.

"Yes, my girl. Now sit down so we can explain."

"o-okay." He stutters out sitting down facing the two cheerleaders.

After about 45 minutes of explaining how the unholy trinity were dating, them falling in love with the tiny diva, why they treated her the way they did, all stuff Rachel told them about her mom and dad's, and how they found out about Rachel cutting. Everyone was silent, Puck looked like he was going be sick and he had unshed tears in his eyes as he stared blankly at the coffee table in front of him.

"I'm so stupid. I should have noticed something. Ugh, why am I so stupid? Dammit, I could have stopped all of it, but no, I just stood by and let you both and everyone else in that school hurt her." He said visibly shaking trying to not lash out at the two cheerio, who were trying to figure out how to calm him down. They knew he wouldn't physically hurt them, but they also knew yelling at each other is the last thing they all need right now.

"Calm down, you blowing up on us isn't going help anything." Santana said as she watched him relax a little bit.

"Do you realize how messed up the shit you just told me is? Not the part about you two with Brittany but the part that you three love Rachel. If you loved her you guys wouldn't do that shit!" Puck said raising his voice a little.

"We know it's messed up! You don't have to point that out but, don't you dare sit there and say we don't love her!" Quinn said venomously staring daggers at the jock. He huffed and leaned back against the couch.

"Puck, we truly do love her. We know we could have done things different, but we didn't. We hate what we done but we can't change it now, no matter how much we wish we could." Santana patted Puck on the leg. "You know you kind of done the same thing."

"What do you mean?" He asked raising an eyebrow at the Latina.

"Well, you might not have called her names, throw slushies or treat her bad but you never stopped it. Why did you never stop it?"

"Because she deserves but this town and-" Puck trailed off as he realized what Santana was saying.

"See, so we weren't too different."

"Yeah, but I never done what you guys did to her." Puck huffed crossing he's arms.

"True, but what you done weren't any more right then what we did." Quinn glared at him again.

"Okay, Okay." He raised his hands up. "What are we going do about her cutting?"

"Were going to tell coach and Shelby when they get here later."

"Rachel's mom? But you just said Shelby left Rachel last year."

"I guess she contacted coach and said she wanted to fix things with Rachel." Santana said, picking up her cell phone that was ringing. "It's Britt."

"Put it on speaker." Quinn says as Santana answers it and hit's the speaker phone button.

"Sanny!" The voice of their blonde dancer girlfriend flooded the room. They could tell she was trying not to cry.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"It's Rae, She took off. I- I went and got ice cream like you said I could have and she t-took off I tried to r-run after h-her." Brittany cries harder. "Sanny, I'm scared. I can't find her."

"Shhh, Baby, were on our way ok?" Santana told Brittany as she turned to Quinn and Puck. "Let's go."

"Hurry, P-Please." Brittany said in a voice that broke the other three hearts.

"Were getting in the car now, ok? I'm going give the phone to Quinn." Santana passes the phone to Quinn, who turned the speaker phone off and tried to calm down their tall blonde girlfriend.

"Why would she take off?" Puck asked from the back seat of the car.

"I don't know." Santana said as she tried to stay calm and focus on the road.

Reaching the park in record time the two cheerios and jock took off running, once the car was parked, to where the blonde dancer said she was. Once they made it to pond they saw the tall blonde sitting on a bench crying.

"Shh, Sweetie, were here now." Quinn pulls the taller blonde to her holding her as she rubbed her back. "It's okay."

"We have to find her." Brittany cried against her girlfriend's chest.

"We will, baby. I promise we will. Q, call coach and tell her happened and me and Puck will go look for Rachel." Santana tells Quinn, before looking at Puck and pointing to the north side of the park. "Puck go that way and I'll go check over by the playground."

Puck nodded and took off running as Santana took off toward the playground. Both hoping that the tiny diva was still in the park and was okay.

**Rachel's POV**

Running off from Brittany isn't what I wanted to do, but I just couldn't stay there any longer. Those stupid cheerio's and their damn comments and insults. Were they right though? Was the unholy trinity just playing me for an idiot? Were they just following orders from coach Sylvester? I stop running and look up to see I'm clear on the other side of the park near the old baseball fields. Sighing, I sit down on the hillside and start to think about what just happened.

"_Look what we have here girls. It's man hands." The redheaded cheerio sneered. "You're here with Brittany, right?" _

_I ignore them and keep looking at the ducks on the pond, wishing Britt would hurry up._

"_I don't think she wants to talk to us, Jenna." The black haired girl, named Stacy, who was in my English class last year said looking at the red head._

"_Cat got your tongue, freak?" _

"_You know that whatever this thing is with the unholy trinity is just cause coach feels sorry for your loser ass and just cause coach has gone soft and told us to leave you, doesn't mean I'm going to. You're just a worthless waste of time. Hopefully coach comes to her senses soon. As for the unholy trinity enjoy it while you can, because we both know once school starts their going go back to how they were and treat you like you deserve. If I was you I would do everyone a favor and drop dead." Jenna said in my ear before laughing with her little group as they walked away from me. _

_I turn to see them speak to Brittany and laugh with her. They were right? It's all a plan? The trio doesn't really care; they just said they did to get me to open up to them, so they could hurt me? Why was I so stupid? _

_I stand up and see Brittany look my way, biting my bottom lip to hold back my sobs I take off running. Not looking back as I hear Brittany call my name._

"Hey, you okay?"

I snapped out of thoughts by the voice I heard from behind me. Turning a little I see a boy about my age with dark hair slicked back and wearing a blue blazer.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I mumble out turning back around.

"I didn't know crying was the new fine." He says walking over to and sitting down by me.

"I'm fine really, but I appreciate the concern." I tell him still looking out at the field.

"I was at the park and heard what those girls said to you." He tells me leaning back on he's hands with he's feet out in front of him. "Their wrong you don't have man hands."

I laugh and smile a little bit at the comment. I don't even know this boy but he's already making me feel a little better.

"It's the name everyone at school calls me, well one of them." I tell him finally looking over at him. He smiles at me and reaches he's hand for me to shake.

"I'm Blaine by the way."

"Rachel." I smile and shake he's hand. "You know you didn't have to come after me."

"Well, you see I did because I'm secretly a superhero and you looked to be in need of one. So, Here I am." He smiles widely at me as I start to laugh at him.

"So, you're a private schoolboy by day and superhero by night?" I ask jokingly.

"You could say that." He laughs. "So, Rachel, may I ask why you never stopped when that tall blonde, who almost hit me with her ice cream cone, was yelling for you."

"She almost hit with ice cream?" I ask trying not to laugh at the image of it I'm getting in my head.

"Yeah, she kind of threw it when she tried to run after you." He laughed again. "Good thing I was paying attention, or else it would have landed on my head."

I bust out laughing at that, grabbing my sides. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He smiles and leans back again. "A least you're not crying now. So, why didn't you stop?"

"The things that the redheaded girl said hurt and made me rethink some stuff. I just had to get out of there."

"I'm guessing that some of things she whispered into your ear were about the blonde."

"Yeah."

"Well, if it means anything. The blonde seemed liked she really cared for you and was worried." Blaine told me gently. "She also made a phone call to someone called Sanny."

"Oh no." My eyes widen as I look at him. I forget about Santana Quinn. Their probably going leave me sooner now. Oh well, I knew this was too good to be true anyways.

"I'm guessing this Sanny person is going be upset?" He asks looking at me with a concern. "They won't hurt you will they?"

"No. Sanny or well Santana is Brittany's Girlfriend. She's not going be happy with me though." I sigh looking down.

"I know we just met and stuff but I can tell theirs more to the story. I'm a good listener if you want to talk about it. People always say it's better to talk then keep everything inside."

"I-I It's just a really long story." I tell him still looking down. Is it weird to already feel close to him? I feel like I can tell him anything without being judged.

"Well, I got time." He smiles at me again. I nod smiling a little as I begin to him about how I'm treated in school, about Glee club hating me, how the three most beautiful girls in school told me that cared about me and how they acted toward me and how past few days went with them. Leaving out the parts about my dad's, mom, and my cutting.

"I'm guessing you care a lot about them?"

"I do. I fall in love with them. As crazy as it seems, after all the stuff they done to me and treated me, I fall in love. I've loved them from the first day they ever walked in the choir to join Glee. All three of them are amazing in their own way. Quinn is the caring and understanding one. Brittany is the sweet, kind, and innocent one that can read people's feelings. Santana is the protective one and kind of scary at times but for the past few days she's been nothing less then a big teddy bear. It's crazy that I've only really spent one day with them and I feel so close to them, but I feel like it's all a joke or something. I really hope it's not but it doesn't stop me from worrying."

"You're a good person, Rachel. I mean to put up with all that crap and still try to find good in someone. It's amazing. Your amazing for that and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise."

"Thank you, Blaine." I blush a little. I've never had someone tell me I'm amazing before it was nice.

"No problem, you know you should ask them Rachel. I mean from what you're telling me I really don't think it's a joke and from how the blonde in the park acted they really do care about you."

"I guess so."

"So you're in the Glee club at your school?" He asks changing the subject.

"Yeah, McKinley high Glee club."

"Cool, I'm a Warbler from Dalton Academy."

"I heard about you guys. You all are very talented." I tell him with a smile.

"Thank you. Since we're friends now and all, you should come see us perform at this Benefit Concert next week. I can get you some tickets." He tells me grabbing he's phone out of he's blazer. "What's your number? So I can text you when I get the tickets and we can meet up and I'll give them to you."

I smile at and give him my number and tell him to go ahead and text my phone so I have his number, explaining I left my phone in my car earlier. In away I'm kind of glad I did leave my phone in my car, because I know Santana or Quinn would be trying to get a hold of me and I just wanted to be left alone right now.

"Unholy trinity, who in the world named them that?" He asks causing me to laugh.

"I have no idea, but let me tell you this they are scary when mad or upset." I tell him and laugh a little when he's eyes widens a little. Why is he looking like that? "Blaine?"

"Um, does this unholy trinity have a scary looking Latina in it and another blonde other then the one at the park?" He asks still with wide eyes looking straight a head.

"Yeah. Wait, how did you know that?" I ask looking at him really confused.

"Because their walking this way and they look like their going kill me." He tells me still looking in front of him. I turn to look and my eyes widen at the three girls who are walking this way. Quinn is walking in between Santana and Brittany like they do at school and they are wearing their scary emotionless glare, but this time it's multiplied by hundred. If looks could kill I'm pretty sure me and Blaine would be dead.

"I thought you were superhero." I mumble with a little fear in my voice. I don't think I've ever seen them so scary looking before.

"I don't think even a superhero could save us now." I laugh a little at what he says but its cut short by the glare Santana is sending me. I look down at the ground, really wishing the ground would shallow me as I mumble to Blaine. "Don't look in their eyes."

"Too late." He mumbles and my breath gets caught in my throat as three pair of shoes stop right in front of us. I keep my head down as I feel their eyes on me.

"Thank god, your okay." I hear Quinn say with relief in her voice. "You scared us."

"Rae, we were so worried." Brittany says in a shaky voice and it makes my heart hurt to know I upset and worried her.

"I'm sorry." I mumble still looking down. I'm so terrified to look into their eyes. I'm scared that I'll break even more. If all this wasn't real then I couldn't look into their eyes. I had to stay strong.

"Baby girl?" At that I couldn't handle it I broke down and cried again. Feeling a pair of arms wrap around me, I look of to see Blaine hugging me. I wrap my arms around him tightly and cry loudly.

"Shhh, it's okay, I got you Rachel." I hear him say rubbing my back gently and holding me close as I felt my eyes getting heavy. The last thing I heard before I fell a sleep was someone saying "Who is that?"

**Santana's POV**

"Who is that?" I hear Puck ask walking with coach and Shelby toward us.

"Shhh, Rae is asleep." Brittany tells him, causing him to instantly shut up.

I laugh a little at how Puck listens so well, before I turn my attention back down to our tiny diva. The boy holding her moves her slightly so her head is laying on her chest, causing me and the two blondes to growl a little at him. He stops and looks up at us and then over at the other three people that stood by us with confused and concerned looking expressions.

"I know all of you want to know what is going on and I will tell you once we get her out of the night air." He tells us looking over at Puck. "Can you help me out here?"

"Sure, man." Puck walks over and picks up our tiny diva careful and held her in his arms. I smiled softly when she curled up against he's chest. She looked so damn adorable. I'm glad she's okay though. I really thought we lost her.

"Your Blaine right?" Brittany asks the boy who was now standing and looking at her confused.

"Umm, yeah. How did you know that?" He asks looking at each of us confused.

"You texted Rae's phone. That's how we found you, because you said Hey, its me Blaine from the baseball field." She tells him like it's the most obvious thing ever.

"Oh." He laughs and then points at all three of us. "Unholy trinity, right?"

I glare at him as he laughs when Brittany claps and says were famous.

"Come on girls and other kid, Rachel is going get sick if we stay out here much longer." Coach says before her, Shelby and Puck walk back to where our cars are.

"Let's get something straight, Blaine. Rachel isn't up for grabs. No one and I mean No one is going try to take her away from us. Not now or ever." I tell him with growl pointing at him.

"Whoa, calm down. I don't want Rachel. I just want to be her friend." He tells me laughing a little. "Plus, I'm gay. So you have nothing to worry about."

"Ignore her; she can be a little to over protective and jealous when it comes to Rachel." Quinn tells him as I glare at her. Damn right, I'm over protective when it comes to my little diva. I'm done with people hurting her. "I'm Quinn and that's Brittany and the one who looks like she's going kill me is Santana."

"I know, Rachel told me your guy's names, but it's nice to meet you all." He smiles and I just want to knock the smile off of he's face. Even if he's gay he was still hugging Rachel.

"Thank you for finding her for us. We were worried something happened to her."

"No problem, I saw her take off from the park after four girls said some mean things to her and then I saw Brittany take off after her a little ways. So I thought I would follow her to make sure she was okay."

"Four girls?" I ask looking at him.

"Yeah, I think one was named Jenna." Blaine says with a thoughtful look on he's face.

"Jenna." Quinn growled so lowly and venomously that it made me shiver a little in fear. It scared Brittany a little to, because she let out a little whimper and moved closer to Blaine.

"I think Rachel was wrong." Blaine smiled at our confused expressions before explaining. " Oh, she told me that Santana was the overprotective one and little bit scary out of the three of you, but I think it might needed to be changed to be Quinn and Santana is overprotective and scary."

"Your right. I really like him. Can we keep him?" Brittany asks causing Blaine to laugh.

"I'll be around a lot, Brittany so don't worry." Blaine smiles and laughs as Brittany hugs him and talks excitedly with him as we reach the parking lot.

"You think we should invite him over?" Quinn asks leaning into me.

"Yeah, probably. I mean more the help better, right? Because something tells me that once our tiny diva sees that we took all the razors she's going go on a war path and when we tell Shelby and coach about her cutting, heaven help us." I tell Quinn, who sighs at the thought, as we walk over to where Puck was holding our diva close to him and talking to coach and Shelby in a hushed tone.

"Do you guys want us to take Rachel with us? Since there will be no room in Rachel's car with all three of you and Puck." Coach asks looking at us then behind us at Blaine. "He coming with us?"

I turn and get ready to ask when Blaine just nods at me.

"Yeah, but can Puck and Blaine ride with you guys?" I ask looking up at my coach who has a knowing smile on her face and nods.

"Go put Rachel in the car, Puckerman, so we can get back to house and talk." Coach tells Puck who nods and walks over to car and loads Rachel careful with Brittany's help. "See you guys at the house."

Blaine follows the two women to Shelby's SUV as me and Quinn walk over to the car where Brittany was standing. Puck nods at both us before jogging over to the other vehicle.

"Ready?" Brittany asks.

"Yeah, let's go get this over with." I say as I slide in the back seat with Rachel and lay her head on my lap gently. Smiling down at her as I run my fingers through her hair. She looks so beautiful. Like a tiny angel. Tonight is going be another long night, just hope she isn't to upset at me and Quinn when she finds out about our plans to tell Shelby and coach about her cutting.

**Quinn's POV**

Ever since I pulled out of the parking lot my mind kept thinking about what might happen at Rachel's house. All the scenes in my head that were playing was far from good, all of them had a angry and upset diva that kept telling us you guys said you wouldn't tell, but the last words that rang in my ear from my mind is what made me slightly shaky and scared. Those words keep playing over and over again and have me terrified to me death, because the tiny diva the was in mind said them with so much loathing and disgust. It made me sick at the thought it could happen.

"_I can't forgive you for this. I hate you!"_

Shaking my head trying to clear it from all those thoughts, I felt Brittany grab my hand and squeezing it lovingly. I smiled at the action and brought her hand up to mouth and kissed it causing her to giggle and smile widely at me.

"You okay, Britt?" I ask as I come to stop at the stop light near Rachel's house.

" I'm worried about Rae." She whispers turning to look back out the window.

"She'll be okay, Britt."

"I hope so, Q. We just got her and I don't want to lose her." I kiss her hand again as I pull the car on to Rachel's road.

"We're not going lose her." I tell her softly. I honestly think I was trying to convince myself more then Brittany, because truth is I was terrified we would lose the tiny diva before we even got a chance to actually be with her.

Putting the car into park behind the SUV, I look in the rearview to see Santana looking down at the sleeping diva with a smile on her face.

"San, we're here."

She doesn't look up at me or say anything; she just nods and gets out of the car so Puck can get Rachel. I watch as Santana just keeps looking at the tiny diva as Puck picks her up and starts to carry into the house, followed by Shelby, coach, Blaine and Brittany.

"This is really going happen?" Santana asks standing by me. I could tell from her voice she wasn't to sure about telling them about Rachel cutting.

"Yeah." I reply gently as I reach out and grab her hand before we walk into the house. When we reach the living room we see that Puck laid Rachel down on the couch.

"Let's go talk in the kitchen." Shelby says; turn on her heels and walking to the kitchen with everyone following her. That was the first I think I've heard her talk since coach and her made it to the park to look for Rachel.

"Now before we talk, I say we order pizzas. Sound okay with everyone?" Coach asks picking up the house phone. Everyone nods and Coach calls in three pizzas. One pepperoni and cheese, one meat lovers, and one vegan for Rachel and Shelby.

I sit down at the table on the right side of Santana and Brittany was on the left, as Shelby and coach sit in front of us with Blaine and Puck sitting at each end of the table. Everyone is quiet as if we were almost afraid to talk. Looking around the table I see everyone looking like they were lost in thought or staring off into space.

"Blaine?" Shelby is the first to break the silence, looking over at Blaine.

"Can you tell us what made you follow Rachel and why she ran off?"

"I was walking by the duck pond in the park after the warblers performance at the near by elderly home and I seen a tiny brunette and tall blonde, who was Rachel and Brittany, laughing and talking, so I sat and watched them for a little while." Blaine paused and looked at us all before continuing. "They intrigued me a lot; it was like they we're in their own little world. I could tell by Brittany's eyes she loved Rachel. Her eyes showed so much emotion for the smaller girl, it was a powerful thing to see. Then when I looked at Rachel I seen something that was off, her eyes showed love, but they also showed some other emotion that was unreadable. I was so confused by it. When I was about leave I seen four girls walk up to Rachel as Brittany was getting ice cream. I'm not sure what all was said but I knew something was really wrong, because all the emotion in her eyes was gone, they were just blank. It's made a shiver run up my spine. When Rachel stood and took one last look in Brittany's direction and took off, I thought I would follow her make sure she was okay."

"Did she tell you anything?" Coach asked quietly.

"She just told me about how the people in school treated her, her being in the school's Glee, her feeling like no one wants her around, and about Santana, Quinn, and Brittany."

"What about us did she tell you?" Santana asks in a shaky. She's afraid of what he has to say about us. I don't blame her, because I'm a little worried. What if she told him she doesn't want anything to do with us now? Or that she thinks she can never forgive us?

"She in love with all of you." He answers softly. Out of the corner of my eye I see Santana shake as she cries, shocking everyone at the table. Santana was never the one to show emotion. I feel tears in my eyes too. I wrap my arms around Santana as we both cry happy tears, feeling Brittany put her arms around both us. At that moment we didn't care that the other four people in the room was staring at us cry. All that matter was that our tiny diva loved us too.

**Rachel's POV**

Sitting up slowly and rubbing the sleep from my eyes I realized I was on the couch. How did I get here? The last thing I remember is being held by Blaine as I cried. Groaning softly I stood up and stretched, looking around at the dark house, I hear voices coming from the kitchen. I tip toe through the hallway and stop at the corner to listen to the conversation in the kitchen.

"She is in love with us?" I hear a shaky voice ask, it sounds like Santana but why does it seem like she's crying?

"Yes, that's what she told me. She said she loved you all the moment you joined Glee." Blaine says softly.

"She feels the same way." I hear Quinn whisper and then I hear I few giggles, which I assume is Brittany. I smile and edge a little closer to see who is all in the kitchen. Peeking into the kitchen I see my mother Shelby, coach Sylvester, Noah, Blaine, and the three girls that stole my heart. Shelby, Noah, and coach have smiles on their faces and look like their on the verge of tears as they watches the trio hug each other tightly. It was like the trio was in their own little bubble. I feel tears in my eyes for what felt like the millionth time today and I sniffled softly, causing Noah to look up at me, which caused the others to look way my. I blushed and looked down, knowing I've been seen.

"Hey, kiddo." Coach says softly. "We ordered pizza it should be getting here soon."

I feel a familiar urge coming on, one that seems to happen when I'm upset, nervous, or overwhelmed. I'm not sure why I'm having one right now; it might be because of all the stress from today. I look up and see all the eyes on me, all of them filled with concern and worry. Feeling like I was going to lose it, I had to get out of there and quick. I started to take a step backwards until I remembered that if I took off without saying anything, three cheerios would take off after me and that's the last thing I wanted right now. Taking a deep breath I smile at all them.

"Okay, I'm going go up and change." I say in the calmest voice possible so I don't tip the trio off.

"Okay, kiddo." Coach smiles at me before turning and talking to my mother who was still looking at me.

I turn around and walk out of the kitchen, not daring to look back because I know dark brown, blue, and hazel eyes would be staring at me. Reaching the stairs I look to make sure no one was following, before I went up to my bathroom. Halfway to my room I hear the doorbell ring, meaning the pizzas were here and I didn't have much time.

I started to get a guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach as I entered my bathroom. Pushing the guilt down as much as I could and shaking my head to get the beautiful faces of the three girls out of my head, I walk over to the sink and opened the top drawer moving the things in the drawer around to find what I was looking for. Finding nothing, my throat tightens and my eyes widen more and more as I search the drawer frantically. Where are they? They were there last night. Ripping the drawer out I dump it on the floor, kneeling down searching. No, No, No, this can't be happening. I need them. It was the only way to escape my feelings and emotions. I bury my face in hands and let out a quiet sob. What happen to them? Then it hit me, they took them. How could they do that to me? I thought they cared? I let out a scream of anguish before I bolt out of the bathroom and back down to the kitchen. Completely forgetting that there were other people in the kitchen, I started to yell.

"How could you?" I yell making everyone jump and look at me. I see the trio getting ready to stand and come over to me, so I move toward the sink, standing behind the island in the middle of the kitchen putting as much space as I can between me and them. I don't want them near me. I trusted them.

"Baby girl, what are you talking about?" Santana ask standing up getting ready to walk over to me.

"Stay away! I trusted you! I trusted all three of you!" I yell louder pointing at each of them. "How could you guys do that to me?"

"Sweetie, what are you talking about?" Quinn asks as her and Santana both try to inch closer to me.

"Both of you stop! Why did you take them?" I yell again causing them to stop and look at each other as they realize what I was talking about. "You took all them away, I needed them. I needed them to feel."

"Baby girl, we done that for your own good. You need help, Rach." Santana says softly, walking toward me again. I shake my head and try to hold back the tears.

"I don't need help. I told you that." I say quietly feeling my throat tighten again as I see Santana getting closer. I look around the room panicking as I look for an escape. "Don't come near me!"

"Rach, I'm not going hurt you." Santana says edging closer to me block my only exit. I back up against the counter more, before I try and make a run for it, only to be caught in Santana's arms.

"No, let me go!" I yell fighting against her. "Let me go!"

Quinn and Brittany rush forward to where were at and try to calm me down, as I still fight against Santana.

"I hate you! I hate you! I trusted you!" I yell hitting Santana in the chest over and over. Letting out a loud sob finally letting the tears fall, I grip Santana's shirt crying into her chest.

"Shhh, Baby girl it's okay. We got you." Santana rubs my back lovingly as I feel the two blondes rubbing my arms.

**Santana's POV**

"We got you, baby girl." I whisper trying not to cry as the harsh words she just said replayed in my head. I know she didn't mean them but it still hurt. I pull back a little and look at the two blondes that were still rubbing Rachel's arms gently; they both had tears in their eyes as they looked down at the tiny brunette.

Rachel's cries stop and she looks up at me. There was so much pain and hurt in her eyes that it made me what to look away, but I couldn't. I lean down and kiss her cheek softly.

"I'm sorry." She mumbles brokenly; tighten her hold on my shirt.

"It's okay." I tell her softly. "Let's go get you changed into comfortable clothes, okay?"

She nods against my chest, but doesn't move. I look over at the other people in the room and was about to tell them what we was going to do when coach spoke up.

"Go take care of her. We'll talk when all you get back."

"Okay." I nod and pick Rachel up in my arms gently, carrying her out of the kitchen and upstairs. Quinn and Brittany following in silence. I gently placed Rachel's feet on the ground once we entered her room before walking over and grabbing her pair of shorts and t-shirt.

"Thank you." Rachel took the clothes from my hands and walked to the bathroom closing the door.

Running my fingers through my hair I sat on the bed. I'm not sure how to deal with this anymore. Everything keeps going from being okay to hell in matters of minutes. Like right now it's calm, like everything has came to stand still, but I know once we go back downstairs it's going be like tornado destroying everything and anything in it's path, because the tiny diva is going lose it.

"You know she's going break down again." Quinn says quietly as her and Brittany sit by me on the bed.

"I know." I whisper letting my head drop into my hands. "I'm going tell her that she has to tell them and if she doesn't I will."

"We will, Sanny, you can't try to fix this all by yourself." Brittany wraps her arms around me.

"She's right, honey you can't fix all this alone. We're all in this together. Our tiny diva needs all of us, now." Quinn squeezes my arm gently. "We're the unholy trinity we can handle anything thrown at us, even if it's a certain tiny brunette diva that stole our hearts. All this maybe far from over, but we'll get through it together. We're going get her help and be here for her no matter. She's our missing piece. Our happily ever after."

I smile a little and kiss each of them and hug them. They were right. As long as we were together everything would work out. It may still be a battle ahead of us, but in the end it will be worth it all.


	7. Chapter 7 part 1

**Part 1 of chapter 7**

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><p><strong>Rachel's POV<strong>

Once I cleaned up the stuff from the bathroom floor and changed my clothes, I sighed deeply leaning against the sink. I'm not going be able to hide this anymore. The look in Santana's eyes moments ago told me that, if I didn't tell everyone downstairs what was going on then she would. I wish I could hate her for it, but I can't. I know she just doing what she feels is the best ,even though I still don't think I have a problem.

"Rae?" I hear Brittany call out gently from the other side of the door.

I take one last look in the mirror before I go over and open the bathroom door. Brittany smiles at me and takes my hand leading me over to my bed where the other two girls sat.

"Baby girl, You know you have to tell everyone what's going on." Santana says gently looking into my eyes.

"I-I Know." my voice quivers slightly as I look down at my feet. " I just don't know how."

"Sweetie, we'll help you tell them if you want, okay?" Quinn reaches over and squeezes my hand gently.

"Okay." I nod my head still looking down at the ground. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank us, sweetie." Quinn says softly before her and Brittany stand. " You ready to go?"

"I guess." I reply standing up with Santana.

Heading downstairs I couldn't help but to think about what Shelby was going tell me or about how everyone was going react to everything I was going to tell them.

"We still need to call and tell Kurt were not coming to the party later." I hear Brittany say once reach the bottom of the stairs.

"Party?" I ask quietly. What party was they talking about? It doesn't really surprise me that I knew nothing about the party though, No one ever invites me to anything unless they're made to.

"The Glee club party at Kurt's later tonight."

"O-Oh, I wasn't invited." I shrug my shoulders looking down when I feel the others stop and look at me.

"Rach-" Santana starts to say but was cut off by Puck yelling from the kitchen.

"What do you mean Blaine is Rachel's brother?"

"I have a brother." I hear myself whisper, looking up at the trio that were standing there looking as shocked as I felt.

I have a brother? I guess that does explain the connection and stuff I felt to him in the park. Though I'm not sure how to exactly take this information right now. I don't know if I should cry or be happy. All this stuff I'm finding out is beginning to become to much.

"Puckerman, Sit down!" coach yells loudly.

"Come on, Rach. Let's get in there before Puck gets killed." Santana says gently grabbing my hand leading me to the kitchen. My mind was fuzzy from what I just heard moments ago. These past few days have been like a soap opera or something, and I know it's only just begun.

I feel all eyes on me as I enter the kitchen behind Santana. Squeezing my hand gently Santana leads me over to the table. I sigh and sit down, not looking at anyone in the room. I couldn't. Not yet, anyways. My mind was still reeling with the fact that I had a brother and he was sitting two seats away from me.

"Rachel-" Shelby starts to say only to be cut off sharply by Santana.

"Let her talk first." Santana voice was demanding and harsh. I squeezed her hand and looked up at Shelby.

"He's my brother?" I ask quietly looking into the eyes that looked so much like mine.

"Yes." She replies with a small nod. I look down again before I turn to Blaine and look at him. Why didn't I see it earlier? He looks a lot like me. The only differences are he's taller and his eyes were a little bit darker then mine or Shelby's.

"Did you know? Did you know about me?" I ask him.

"I knew I had a older sister but I didn't know anything else, because every time I would ask mom would get really quiet and cry." He replies softly looking over at Shelby before looking back at me.

"How could you keep this from me? I had a right to know that I had a brother." I said lowly looking at the woman that was my birth mother. I wanted to hate her, but for some reason I couldn't.

"I was going to tell you the night we was supposed to meet." She says quietly as she stares into my eyes. I remember that night. She left me a note in my mailbox telling me to meet her at the park so we could talk, but she never showed. I waited for three hours in the cold. That night I hit rock bottom, everything that happened with my dads, my mother not showing up, kids at school, the insults, names, pranks, torture, pain, and hurt caused by so many hit a point to where I didn't just care anymore. That was the night I came home and stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom with pills in my hand, crying and shaking, about to end my life and all my pain, when the phone went off.

"I waited for three hours." I whisper feeling my eyes burn with tears. " Then I came home and I-" The words died on my lips once I realized what I was about to reveal.

"Rach? What was you going say?" Santana voice was filled with worry and concern.

I shook my head and tried to get up from the table only to be stopped by three pairs of arms.

"Rae, sit."

"Sweetie, just tell us what you was going say. All of us are on your side. We just want to help."

"Baby girl, Please."

I let out a loud sob and lean back in my chair closing my eyes. How do you tell the three girls your in love with that you stood with a handful of pills about to take your life and the only thing that stopped you was the answering machine going off with a message from your dads telling you that they was going to come visit for the weekend and you wanted to see them before you decided to end it all? Sure, they all knew that I thought about it. I told them yesterday, but they didn't know how close I came to it.

"How about we let Shelby tell Rachel everything she wanted to tell her, then you three can question Rachel about what she was going say." I looked at Coach gratefully that she stepped in, but I knew I was still going have to tell the trio later. They weren't going to forget about it. And by the look coach was giving me she wasn't going forget either.

"Fine." All three cheerios mumbled before letting my arms go.

"I never intended on not showing up that night, Rachel. I was actually getting ready to head to the park after practice, but I was stopped by William Schuester. I know your probably wondering what that has to do with anything and I'm going to explain it but I need you all to agree to something first. Everything that I say cannot and I repeat cannot leave this room. Okay?"

"Okay." Everyone choruses.

"Rachel, I want you to know that I never wanted to give you up, but I had to it was the only way I could insure that you would be safe. When I got pregnant with you I was mixed up with some really bad people. Your father was a very powerful and dangerous man, who was a crime boss in L.A.. I couldn't, no I wouldn't, have you grow up in that kind of environment, so I packed up and ran. At first I thought that if I ran and got far away from him that I wouldn't have anything to worry about and I could raise you myself. When I got settled into a small town in West Virginia. I found a wonderful job at the local café that was family run. They took me in like I was one of their own. It was the first time that I ever felt like I finally had a family who loved me and cared for me. Then I met this guy, he was so handsome and kind, he's name was Billy Gold. Everything was going great, I had boyfriend, a family that loved me and a nice house, but I should have saw it coming. Nothing good in my life ever lasted long. The last day I ever stayed in that little town was the one day that put it on the map. The morning of that day I had horrible feeling in my stomach that something was going to happen. I tried to shake it off but I couldn't so I went to see Billy hoping that it would ease the feeling I had. On my way there I saw him, your father, and I knew I had to get out of that town if I ever wanted you to have a life. So, I left for New York. Once, I got to New York I heard on the news about the small town and the horrible shooting that took place at the café I worked at. I hated myself for it, because it was my fault that everyone I grow to care about was killed by the monster that I once loved." Shelby paused and wiped the tears from her eyes before she looked up at me. I'm not sure what caused me to do it, but I stood up slowly and walked around the table and hugged her. At that moment I didn't know what else to do and hugging her felt right. She cried into my shoulder and held me tight. It was going take a lot for me and her to ever form an type of mother/ daughter relationship but I guess this was a start.

Pull back away from her slowly I smiled gently at her before I went and sat by trio again. When I sat down I felt Santana's hand squeeze my thigh lovingly and Brittany and Quinn's hands on my arm. I looked at each of them and smiled softly at them before turning my attention back to Shelby for her to continue.

"That's when I decided to give you up for adoption, because I knew that if I kept you that you would be danger and I wouldn't be able to protect you. Giving you up was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. After, I did my life hit rock bottom pretty much. I was a mess. Drinking, drugs, selling my body, everything and anything I could do to make me feel I done it, because the day I gave you up I lost all feeling. I was numb. When I got pregnant with Blaine a year later. I changed, I grow up finally and put my life back together. I changed my name to and went back to school got my teaching degree and moved to Westerville, Ohio. I was a sub for along time before I got offered the job to be director of Vocal Adrenaline and when I took it I never imaged that it would be the reason that I would find you, Rachel. The day I saw you in the auditorium, I was happy, because I thought I was finally going to be able to be in your life. The day we was supposed to meet, my past came back or well part of it did by the name of Billy Gold or should I say William Schuster. I wasn't the only one hiding from the people I left in L.A., William was to and he was the reason I was found in that little town. I'm not sure how he found out about you being my daughter or how he found out the reason why I was running for all those years, but he did and he was going use it against me anyway he could. Even if it meant taking you to your father. So, I had to make a deal with him that I would leave you alone and not contact you again. That's why I wrote that last letter telling you that I couldn't be your mother and that I didn't want you. Everything I wrote in that letter was a lie, Rachel. It was the only way to keep you safe or so I thought at the time."

"Wait so your telling us that Mr. Schue isn't who he says he is and that he was involved in some kind of mob?" Noah asks looking at Shelby like she was some crazy person.

"I know it sounds crazy."

"You think? It sounds like some crazy movie or something." Noah huffed still looking at Shelby.

"Puckerman, Be quiet." Coach glared at Noah. "Rachel, you okay?"

I couldn't move or talk all I could do was sit there. What was I supposed to say or think? My mother just told me that the one person who I thought was my teacher and Glee leader. Someone that I could trust wasn't who I thought they were. Not only that but I have little brother and my father is a crime boss in L.A., my life is starting to became more and more like a damn movie.

Shaking my head and standing up quickly, I walked over to the sink away from everyone. I just needed space to think. Everything was starting to became to much. My life went from me thinking that I had no one who cared to having everyone in this kitchen caring about me in someway. I'm not sure what Noah's story is yet, but I'm not planning on asking right now. I still need answers from Shelby. Answers about why she's doing this now. She had a whole year to do something and to fix the pain she caused. So, why now?

"Why now?" I hear my voice whisper shakily as I grip the sink tighter. " A whole year since I last heard anything from you. Why now, Shelby?"

"Last year I didn't think I could protect you from those people if William went to them, but now I know I can with Sue's help. Ever since I left you that last letter last year, I've been working on ways to make sure you was safe and to be able to be in your life. I came up with a way. The F.B.I. has been after the crime organization your father runs for years, but they had no way of getting information on them to make a solid case about any of the crimes they've been involved in. That's why I've decided to get someone's help to get a hold of the F.B.I. and give my testimony against them. I know I should have went to the cops or F.B.I a long time ago but I was so afraid to. I know what these people are capable of and I just didn't want them to find you and hurt you after I worked so hard to try to keep you safe, but I'm done with the running and hiding because I know now you'll be safer if I put them away. I just want to fix this between us, Rachel. I want to have my daughter in my life and for her to get to know her brother. Me going to the F.B.I. might be my only chance for that." Shelby says.

I can feel everyone's eyes on me as I stare out the window above the kitchen sink. I guess I can understand why she's going to the F.B.I. now, but she really should have done that seventeen years ago. I still have so many questions I want to ask, but I'm just not sure if I can deal with it right now.

"Rachel, I know all this is a lot to take in right now and that you probably have a lot of questions and I'll answers them all when your ready to ask. All I'm asking right now is for a chance to show you that I'm here to stay now and that I want to be in your life."

"One more chance, Shelby. That's all your going get because I'm not strong enough to handle anymore heartbreak from you." I tell her finally turning around to face her. " Please, don't make me regret this decision."

"Are you sure about this Rachel?" Santana asks looking over at me with questioning eyes.

"Everyone deserves a second chance." I tell her looking from her, to Quinn and to Brittany. Hoping they understand what I mean. I'm giving them all a second chance and I'm willing to give my mother one to. Even though my head is screaming at me not to give any of them a chance because all it's going to do is cause me pain and hurt, my heart is telling me to and for once I'm going to follow my heart.

"Okay." Santana says before looking at my mother and pointing a finger at her. "Just don't screw this up. She's a amazing, sweet and kind girl. Don't hurt her."

"I won't" Shelby tells her.

"Well, I say we take a break from this right now, because I need to get Shelby back home." Coach Sylvester said standing up from the table.

"It is getting kind of late and I do have that interview at the school tomorrow." Shelby says getting up from the table and walking over to where Blaine sat. "Blaine, are going to stay here for awhile?"

"Yeah, well if that's okay with Rachel." He says looking over me. I smile at him and nod. I'm glad he's going to stay and hang out, this will give me a chance to get to know him and spend time with him.

"I would like that." I tell him still smiling.

"Okay kiddo, I'm coming back after I drop her off so me and you can have a talk." Coach tells me looking into my eyes as she walks to the door. By the looking she's giving me I know that she's going to be asking about what my little breakdown was about earlier.

Nodding my head before I look down at the floor. I guess I should be glad that I'll only have to tell her, Noah, and Blaine, because I don't think I'm quite ready to tell Shelby yet.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Rachel. Here's my number if you need me or want to talk okay?" Shelby hands me a piece of paper with her number and touches my arms gently before following Coach. I pick up the piece of paper and look down at it before I fold it up and place it in top drawer of the counter.

"Rach, come and eat. You haven't ate all day." Santana says softly.

"Okay."

As I'm eating I feel everyone's eyes on me. Do I have something on my face or something? Before I can ask the trio and Noah's phones go off. They all look at the message, which I'm assuming it's from Kurt or someone from Glee about the party they were supposed to attend.

"You know you guys could go to the party. I'll be fine, I mean Blaine will be here." I tell them before I take another bite of my pizza.

"Rach, we don't want to go." Santana says as she types a reply to whoever texted her.

"Glee party's always suck." Puck comments grabbing another slice of pizza. "Plus, I want to hang out with my new bro."

"Bro?" I ask raising my eyebrow at him.

"Yep. You're my bro now. All I got to do now is teach you how to play Call of Duty and then teach you how to shotgun a beer."

"Puck, your not going teach her that." Quinn tells him sternly glaring at him.

"But-"

"No buts, Puck." Santana growled at him making him squirm in his chair, causing me to giggle.

"Fine." He pouts crossing his arms over his chest.

"Since he can't teach Rae can he teach me?" Brittany asks causing everyone but Quinn and Santana to laugh. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, Brit. Just finish your food so we'll be ready to talk to coach when she gets back." Quinn tells her.

As everyone finishes they're pizza, I looked around the table at them. Noah and Blaine were talking about video games and cars, while Brittany was discussing ducks with Quinn and Santana. Watching all them interact made me smile. It was nice. For once I felt like I had friends and people who care about me. I just really hope this feeling of love and happiness last.

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><p><strong>Santana's POV<strong>

When Puck and Blaine decided to go play Xbox I thought it would be a good opportunity to talk to Rachel about everything her mother told her and to ask about something she said earlier. Looking over at Quinn and Brittany, I could tell they were thinking the same thing.

"Go ahead and ask." Rachel whispers fiddling with the place mat on the table. " I know you guys want to."

"That obvious, huh?" I ask letting out a small chuckle.

"A little." She answers looking up at me with a little smirk.

I let out another chuckle and lean over and kiss her cheek gently, causing her to blush. She swatted at me and mumbled for me to be good. That caused the two blondes to giggle and smile at us. I kiss her cheek once more before I lean against table and tell her to explain about what she was going to say earlier.

"What are you talking about?" She asks playing dumb. I could tell she was because she was starting to squirm in her seat.

"Rachel." I say in a firm voice looking over at her. " You know what I'm talking about."

"No I-" she starts to says but I cut her off.

"Bull. Now tell us. Please, Rach."

She sighs and leans back against her chair closing her eyes. Why was she acting like this? Was what she going to say that bad? I can see Quinn and Brittany frowning slightly at the tiny diva, whose eyes were still closed.

"Rae?" Brittany says softly.

"I just don't know how to tell you guys this. I mean it's just something I'm sure that would be better left unsaid." Rachel whispers finally opening her eyes and looking at us. I could see tears starting to build up in her eyes and it caused my heart to ache.

"Just tell us, baby girl." I tell her pulling her into my lap and holding her tight.

Rachel takes a deep breath as Quinn and Brittany move to sit on each side of us.

"That night I was supposed to meet Shelby was the night that almost put me over the edge. Like I said earlier I waited for three hours for her to come, but she never did. For a spilt second I was worried that something might have happened or that she was hurt. My worry soon turned into anger then finally heartbreak. When I got home I went upstairs and laid on my bed just staring up at the ceiling thinking about my dads, Glee club, kids at school, and my mother. I kept asking myself over and over again, would any of them even care if I killed myself? Would they even bat a eyelash? Part of me thought maybe a least my dads would care, but then my mind kept playing the scene and conversation I had with them when they told me that they've decided to move to California and they left me the house. I cried and screamed for hours. I'm surprised the neighbors didn't hear me." She laughed humorlessly as she stared at the back door with a emotionlessly look on her face.

I heard a shuffling sound come from the kitchen entrance, looking over I could see Coach Sylvester, Blaine, and Puck standing there listening.

"All the voices in my head was screaming at me, telling me that I was worthless, no one in their right mind would care about me, and that I should do everyone a favor a kill myself. So, that's what I was going to do. I got up and wrote my last note before I walked into the bathroom. I grabbed the sleeping pills from my medicine cabinet. Standing in front of the mirror I poured a handful into my hand as I stared at my reflection. You know, the whole time I stood there looking at myself, I couldn't even recognize the girl staring back at me. It was like the girl I used to be didn't exist anymore and I was right. Rachel Berry didn't exist anymore, I was just the broken and hurt shell of who I used to be. The sad part is that I liked the new me, because the new me was so broken and hurt that nothing hurt anymore or least I thought it didn't. I was so close to ending it all when the phone rung. The message left on the answer machine was the only reason I stopped, because it was my dad's telling me they was going to come visit me for a few days." Her body started to shake with sobs. I wrapped my arms tighter around her holding her close.

Brittany and Quinn both had tears running down their cheeks as they watched the tiny diva shake in my arms. I felt my own tears run down my cheeks slowly as I cling to Rachel. Everything she just told us made it feel so real. I mean, we knew she had thoughts of suicide but we had no idea of how close she actually came to doing it. My head was spinning with thoughts and images of Rachel holding those sleeping pills in her hand. I can feel the bile in my throat burn and my stomach turn with fear as the scene plays out in my head. Our tiny diva was so close to ending it all, and that thought scares me shitless.


	8. Chapter 7 part 2

****Disclaimer: I Do not own Glee or the characters used...****

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><p><strong>Quinn's POV<strong>

I can't believe what Rachel just told us about being so close to ending her life. It's like a punch in the gut. It makes me sick to think that we was part of the reason she was pushed to thinking that suicide was the answer.

My eyes burn with more tears as I look at how broken and scared Rachel looks sitting on Santana's lap. She's barely the shell of the girl we saw the first day of freshman year. I just really hope it's not to late to get that sweet, carefree, and strong girl back.

"Kiddo, do you still have thoughts about suicide?" Coach Sylvester asks walking towards the table. Rachel just nods looking down at her hands.

"Rachel, When was the last time you thought about suicide?" Blaine asks softly as him and Puck sit down beside Coach Sylvester.

I see Rachel's body tense at the question as she looks all around room trying to avoid eye contact with everyone. Slowly, I reach over and grab her hand lacing our fingers together trying to calm her down.

"Sweetie, it's okay. We're all just wanting to help, but for us to help we need to know everything." I tell her gently, looking into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Last night." She whispers looking away from me.

Last night? When last night? The looks on Santana and Brittany's faces tell me that they're wondering the same thing, because we was with Rachel almost the whole night.

"When?" I hear Brittany ask quietly.

"I wasn't going to do anything." Rachel says moving off of Santana's lap quickly before Santana could stop her. " The thought just crossed my mind."

"Baby girl, please tell us when you thought about that." Santana moves slowly toward Rachel who is leaning against the wall looking down at the ground.

"When I went upstairs after the Glee club got here." She whispers taking her right hand and trying to dig her nails into her wrist , before looking up at Santana then over to me. "I need to-"

She said trailing off as she stared back at us with pleading eyes. I look at Santana wondering if she knew what Rachel was talking about, she just shrugged a little and looked backed at the tiny diva.

"Sweetie, what do you need?" I ask taking a step towards the tiny diva.

"I need to. Please, let me." she sobs out digging her nails into her wrist more.

"Baby girl, tells us what your needing, because we have no idea." Santana says walking closer to her and grabbing her hands to stop her from digging nails into her wrist.

That's when I realize what she was wanting. I let out a little sob, before I move closer to Rachel.

"No, no, no, sweetie, We can't let you do that Rachel. You know that. Cutting is not the answer."

I hear gasps from others in room. This wasn't how we wanted to tell them.

"I need to. Please." Rachel cries louder.

"You don't need to, Baby girl." Santana whispers pulling Rachel to her and holding her close.

Rachel buries her face into Santana's neck cries. The sound is heartbreaking. I walk over and rub my hand up and down Rachel's back trying to calm her down. Finally after about ten minutes she starts to calm down. Every time she gets upset and starts to breakdown it scares me. I'm so afraid that one of these times we won't be able to calm her down.

"Rae, how about me and you go upstairs and watch a movie?" Brittany asks. "We can watch Funny Girl."

I look at Brittany and smile gratefully at her knowing the reason she suggested a movie was so Santana and I could talk to coach. Brittany smiles back before walking over to Rachel.

"Can we cuddle to?" Rachel ask quietly looking up at Brittany.

"Of course." Brittany smiles and gently takes Rachel's hand, leading her out of the kitchen.

After Brittany and Rachel leave, I look up at Santana. She looks so worried and scared. I know how she feels though because I feel the same. I grab her hand and squeeze it gently.

"Girls, sit down so we can talk. There's a lot we need to discuss." Coach says.

Santana nods and leads us over to the table. When we sit down I feel Santana squeeze my hand gently, before she starts to talk to the others at the table.

" Like Quinn stated moments ago, umm, Rachel has been cutting." Santana says quietly looking down at the table. " She's been doing it for a few months or a least that's what she told us. We found out about it last night at the Glee movie night."

"How did you girls find out about it?" Coach asks leaning against the table.

"Last night when we fist got here Rachel disappeared upstairs saying she had a phone call to make. After her being gone for a long time we got worried and decided to go look for her." I tell coach in a shaky voice as I think about how we found Rachel in the bathroom looking so small and lost as she sung. " We heard her in the bathroom crying and singing. So, we thought we would see if she was okay and that's when we saw the five deep cuts on her shoulder."

"Do you guys know if she cut anywhere else?" Coach asks.

"She told us she cuts on her shoulders and stomach, but we don't know if she has anymore fresh cuts or not." Santana answers quietly still looking down at the table. "We was afraid to ask her or to look, because we didn't want to upset her."

"Okay, you know I'm going to have you guys to check, because I doubt she'll let me or Shelby check. We need to know so we can make sure that if she does have anymore they're not infected. Does the cuts on her shoulder look infected?"

"No, they're just deep."

"I'm guessing that you guys got that locker that is setting in the living room so you could lock up the knives and stuff, right?"

"Yeah and we threw out all the razors we found in her room and bathroom." I tell coach looking up at her.

"Good, You girls done good. Now we need to talk about what we're going to do about getting her help and about her dads."

"Her dads?" Santana asks finally looking up at coach.

"Yes, her dads. I know about them leaving her here alone. That's why I was so glad Shelby finally came to me."

"How did you find out Coach?" I ask looking at her curiously.

" Well, I always suspected that her dads weren't around because not once did they ever come to any meetings or any Glee competitions. So, I started to pay more attention to her and how she acted when she was asked about her dads. She was very good at covering it up, but she slipped when I asked her for a least one of her dads work number, because the cell phone numbers she gave were not working. That was when I found out that Leroy Berry took a job in California and has been there for over a year." Coach says with a little smirk on her face as she looked at mine and Santana's shocked faces.

"How long have you known?" I ask.

"Not very long. After I found out I started to look into ways to get guardianship over Rachel, but I couldn't find anything. That's why I'm so glad Shelby called me, because now she can file for guardianship and Rachel can finish her high school career at McKinley."

"Rachel, won't want to stay with Shelby though." Santana says.

"I know, I already talk with Shelby about that and she's okay with Rachel living here. Shelby doesn't want to cause problems with Rachel or anyone. She just wants to help and to show that she wants in Rachel life."

"Okay." Santana says nodding her head. " Now what our we going to do about getting her help?"

Coach sighs and looks away from us. I get the feeling that what she's going to suggest is something me and Santana aren't going like to well. Santana looks over at me with a frown before she turns back to Coach.

"We're not going like what your going suggest are we?" Santana asks quietly.

"Probably not S, but you need to realize that everything that was told here tonight has brought me to the decision and it might be the only thing that will help at this point." Coach tells us softly as she turns back to look at us with caring eyes. " My brother in law works at a Psychiatric hospital called Fox Run in Saint Clairsville it specializes in cases like Rachel's."

"You want to send her away!" Santana yells slamming her hands down on the table. "How would that help? She would think we were abandoning her."

"Santana, I suggest you sit down right now." Coach tells Santana firmly.

"No, won't let you send her away!" Santana glares at Coach leaning against the table towards her.

"San, hun, Coach just wants to help. Calm down." I tell her gently as I grab her arm to try to get her to sit.

"Calm down? How could you even be okay with the fact that she wants to send Rachel away?" Santana grounds out looking furious at me. She rips her arm away from me. I gasp and try to hide the tears that are forming in my eyes. I know Santana is upset at what Coach suggested, but she doesn't have to act that way. I don't like the idea anymore than she does, but coach is right. It could be the only thing that helps now.

"That's enough! S! Sit your ass down now and shut up!" Coach yells loudly scaring everyone at the table. Santana deflates a little and sits down moving away from me. I let out a little sob and stand up walking over to the sink. Why can't Santana see that Coach is only trying to help and her acting like that is only going cause more problems?

"You okay Q?" I hear Puck ask me in a gently voice from beside me. I turn and look at him before I bury me face into his chest and finally let myself breakdown. Everything that's happened in the past few days have been emotional and tiresome. Santana acting the way she did was the final thing that put me over the edge. I've tried so hard to hold it all together and keep my emotions in check, but I just can't anymore.

"Shh, Q. It's okay. I got you. We're going to get Rachel some help and then everything will be okay." Puck whispers in my ear as he holds me close and rubs my back gently.

"I love her, Puck. So much. S and B do to.

"I know Q. I know. Now we need to go over and try to talk some sense into S."

I nod and wipe my eyes before smiling up at Puck. He really is a sweet guy. I'm so glad we can call him a friend. I hug him one last time before I walk back over to table where the other three were sitting. Santana looks at me, before she stands quickly and rushes over hugging me tightly.

"I'm sorry, babe. I just got so protective. I just don't want Rachel to think we've abandoned her." She mumbles against my neck as we hold each other.

"It's ok, hun. Come on, we need to finish talking to Coach." I smile at her and lead us back over to table.

"You okay?" Coach asks me.

"Yeah." I nod and give her a small smile.

" Now, I know you don't like the idea S, but she needs help." Coach tells Santana.

"I know and I want to help her, but is sending her away the only way to help?" Santana asks coach.

"Yes. Her being away from this town and the people will be better for her. She won't have to worry about kids from school seeing her go to therapy, and she'll be more likely to open up better being away from all of us."

"Open up better? Do you really think that she'll open up to people she don't know? Do you really think that? Because if you do your full of bullshit!" Santana yells slamming her hands down on the table. "She won't talk to them. She won't trust them!"

"And you think she trust you!" Puck yells back glaring and Santana.

"Both of you sit down!" Coach growls looking at both Santana and Puck.

"No! She needs to hear this. I'm sick of her acting like her, Quinn, and Brittany are the only ones who care and know what's best for Rachel." Puck still glares at Santana as he leans against the table to get closer to Santana.

" She'll trust the people in that hospital more then she'll trust you. Yeah, she told you why she's cut, for how long, and she also told you about her dad's and her mother, but she doesn't trust you. You can see it in her eyes every time she looks at you or any of us, expect for Blaine. She scared and afraid of us still. Why do you think she ran earlier at the park? In her mind she still thinks that all of this is some kind of sick prank or joke and it's all our faults that she does. We tore her down for almost three years and now all of sudden we find out her dark secret and we tell her we care. Everything she thought was her life has been nothing more then a lie and it kills me to think that she was close to ending her life, because of all of us and our stupid plans to push her away so she could go live her dream. Coach's idea of sending her away for help might be our only chance for her to get help. Why can't you see that? I know you don't want her to be away from you, San and I know you want to protect her from everything, but you can't protect her from herself. She needs help."

Santana lets out a sob as she drops back down into her seat. I reach over and grab her hand tightly as I blink away the tears that have formed in my eyes. He was right we could protect her from things and people only so much, but we couldn't protect her from herself.

"I know she needs help." Santana whispers. "I just don't want to lose her."

"S, why do you think you'll lose her if she's goes away to get help?" Coach asks reaching across the table and taking both mine and Santana's hand in hers.

"She's going hate us for sending her away. She'll think we don't want nothing to do with her." Santana looks down at the table trying to hold back the tears. I know she's afraid and I am to, but she needs to realize that we won't lose her over trying to get her help.

"Hon, I know your afraid of Rachel's reaction. I am to, but right now she needs help even if it means sending her away. She's not going hate us and we won't lose her. She maybe mad and upset with us but we won't lose her." I tell Santana leaning over and kissing her cheek gently.

"Sanny, Quinn is right we won't lose her. She loves us." I turn to see Brittany walking into the kitchen. "Sanny, she needs to go and get better. I don't like it when she cries or hurts herself."

I smile gently at Brittany as she sits down beside me. I wonder how much of the conversation she heard? Knowing Brittany she probably heard it all, she seems to always hear things that are important or seems to know when Santana needs to be talked down. Brittany is the only one who can really talk Santana down with out Santana getting mad, because I mean come on no one can get mad at Brittany.

"I don't like it when she cries either, Brit." Santana tells Brittany leaning up and smiling softly at her. " When will she be going to the hospital, Coach?"

"Well, I was thinking that I could go and talk to Shelby about it tomorrow after she gets done with her interview at the school. Plus, that will give you girls sometime to talk to Rachel about it before I do, because I know she'll probably listen to you guys better then me."

"Okay Coach we'll talk to her about it in the morning, because I really think she could use a rest. This past few days have taking a lot out of her."

"Your right, S. Well, girls I'm going go. I still have a few things to do before I go home. Puckerman and Blaine, are you two staying here tonight?" Coach asks looking at Puck and Blaine. They both nod as Coach stands up. "Okay, You have my number if you need me. I'll see you all tomorrow."

"Bye Coach." Everyone calls at her as walks out of the kitchen.

"Any ideas on how to tell Rachel?" I ask looking at everyone around the table. They all shake their heads no. "Me either."

"Maybe, it won't be as hard to tell her as we think. She knew that you two was going to discuss everything with your Coach, so maybe she realizes that your Coach is going to want to get her help." Blaine says looking up at me.

"I really hope your right, Blaine." I say looking at him with a sad smile.

"Me too." Blaine says as picks up a crayon and starts coloring with Brittany. Brittany squeals happily, causing everyone to laugh.

"Yay! Now I have someone to color with." Brittany smiles really big at Blaine. It makes me happy to see Brittany smiling, because in the last few days she's barely smiled or acted like her bubbly self.

"I'm going go check on Rachel." Santana says standing up and walking out of the kitchen.

"She's really upset about sending Rae away, huh?" Brittany asks quietly not even looking up from coloring.

"Yeah, she is sweetie. I am to, but I know Rachel needs to go and get help." I answer looking up at Puck, who gives me a sad smile before picking up a blue and purple crayon.

"Everything will work out, Q." Puck tells me handing me the purple crayon.

"I really hope so." I mumble taking the crayon and coloring with the others.

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><p><strong>Santana's POV<strong>

I know that Coach is just wanting to help and that sending Rachel to that hospital is probably the best option, but it still worries me. I just don't want Rachel to hate us or think we're going to abandon her like her father's did.

Walking into Rachel's room I stop and smile at how adorable she looks laying there all curled up in the thick blanket. She looks so peaceful. It makes me just want to take her in my arms and hold her close and never let her go.

"Hey." Rachel says softly as she sits up and stretches.

"Hey, baby girl, I didn't wake up did I?" I ask quietly, walking over to the bed and sit down beside her. I smile down at her as she moves closer to me and cuddles against my chest.

"No." She wraps her arm around my waist and holds on to my shirt tightly.

"I woke up shortly after Brittany left the room. I just never got up, because I figured you guys were still talking to Coach Sylvester and I just really didn't want to be down when the boys and her found out about my cutting, because now their all going look at me different."

"No, they won't. They all just want to help you, Rach." I lean down and kiss the top of her head gently pulling her closer to me. I feel her smile against my chest.

"You know, if someone would have told me a few days ago that the big bad Santana Lopez was like a big teddy bear I would have probably laughed in their face." She giggles and looks up at me. I look down at her and huff playfully.

"I'm no teddy bear."

"Yes, you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No." I move slightly and start to tickle her sides, causing her to squeal and giggle.

"Tana, stop." she laughs and tries to move away from me.

"Nope. Not to you agree that I'm no teddy bear." I roll on top of her so I can keep her in place.

"Tana, Please." She laughs harder and tries to push me away.

"Not till you say it."

"Okay, Okay! Your no teddy bear." She manages to get out in between laughs. I stop tickling her and move back a little so I can look down into her beautiful brown eyes. She smiles at me and leans up and kisses the tip of nose.

"Awww, look the badass Santana Lopez is blushing." I groan loudly and move away from Rachel when I hear Puck. Turning and looking at the bedroom door I see my two girlfriends and Blaine trying to hide their smiles, along with a smirking Puck.

"Shut it, Puckerman. I'm more badass then you'll ever be." I glare at him.

"Yeah right, Your just a big softy and your totally whipped." Puck says getting my two blonde girlfriends to laugh and agree.

"I'm not whipped, damn it!"

"Tana, language!" Rachel scolds me hitting my arm.

"Sorry." I mumble. She smiles at me and kisses my cheek.

"Where's Coach at?" Rachel asks moving so she could sit with her back against the headboard.

"She left a little bit ago." Puck answers walking over and picking up the TV remote to turn on the TV. Quinn, Brittany, and Blaine walk over and sit on the bed, Quinn sat down beside Rachel taking her hand and intertwining their fingers, Blaine sat Indian style beside Quinn, while Brittany crawled over me and sat between the tiny diva's legs leaning back on her causing the tiny diva to giggle. I look over and smile at them before turning towards Puck, who is standing in front of the TV flipping through the channels.

"Hey Puck, can you go downstairs and get a movie for us to watch?" I ask him sliding back and leaning against the headboard beside Rachel. I smile when I feel Rachel's fingers tracing little designs all over my arm as she lays her head on my shoulder.

"Anything?" Puck asks walking towards the door.

"No, horror." Quinn and Brittany say at the same time.

"Why not?" Puck pouts looking over at us. I look over at Quinn and Brittany and laugh, knowing they were thinking about how Rachel acted last night like I was.

"Let's just say that a certain someone in this room last night almost choked me to death, because they thought I was killer." I laugh a little bit louder when I see Rachel blush and try to hide her face.

" I said I was sorry." She mumbles.

"I'm just teasing you." I whisper and kiss her head gently.

"Okay, so no horror. How about action?" Puck asks.

"That's fine Noah. Fast Five and Battle: Los Angeles are over on my computer desk if you want to watch one of those." Rachel tells him pointing toward the desk.

"Sweet. Guys which one you want to watch?"

"Fast Five!" Everyone choruses.

Puck walks over and grabs the DVD and puts it in. He walks over and lays at the foot of the bed. Brittany puts her legs on his back and cuddles closer to Rachel. I hear Rachel sigh contently and smile as she reaches for my hand and laces or fingers together like Quinn done with her other hand. Looking down at her I smile lovingly and kiss the top of her head, before I look at everyone else on the bed. Everyone's eyes are glued to TV even though the movie just started and everyone is also kind of huddled together even though Rachel's bed is huge. It kind of feels like we're all just one big happy family, that thought alone makes me happy. The feeling just feels right, like this is how things are supposed to be. For the first time in the past few days it feels as if everything will be okay.


	9. Chapter 8

Waking up Rachel feels as if someone is watching her. Groaning lowly she opens one eye to see two pairs of eyes staring at back at her. One pair is deep brown and other is a pair of bright hazel eyes. She moves and little and cuddles more into the bed, closing her eye again. Maybe, they didn't see her open her eye. Any other time she would have got up after seeing them looking at her, but right now she is to tired to care and doesn't really want to leave her comfy bed.

"Time to get up, Baby girl. We need to talk to you before Coach and Shelby get here." Santana says pulling the covers off of Rachel. Rachel groans and tries to pull the covers back up.

"I don't want to." Rachel pouts as Quinn helps Santana with the covers.

"I know sweetie, but we need you awake for this talk." Quinn leans over and gently caresses Rachel's cheek. " So come on, Let's go downstairs. We made coffee."

"Fine." Rachel huffs and moves off the bed stretching. "Where is everyone else?"

"Brittany is downstairs watching a movie with Blaine and Puck went to the store to get some stuff for a cook out later. Don't worry we made sure that he remembered to pick up some vegan hot dogs." Quinn answers as she wraps her arms around Rachel's waist holding her close.

"Okay." Rachel sighs contently and burying her face against Quinn's chest letting the taller girl hold her. "You smell good."

"Thank you. Come on, sweetie, let's go get coffee." Quinn giggles pulling back and taking Rachel's hand to lead her downstairs. On the way down Rachel grabs Santana's hand smiling up at the Latina.

"You okay, Tana?" Rachel asks as they make their way down the steps.

"I'm good, Tiny." Santana smiles back at the tiny diva. Rachel can tell that Santana is lying and that something is bothering her. She also knows that it probably has something to do with what the two girls want to talk to her about. As they make it to the bottom of the stairs Rachel finally sees the locker that Puck brought yesterday.

"Umm, why is there a locker in my hallway?" Rachel asks raising a eyebrow as she looks at it.

"We had Puck bring it yesterday, because we needed one." Quinn says pulling Rachel further down the hall away form the locker so she won't ask more questions, because her nor Santana really know what to tell Rachel regarding the locker. It's not like they could say well you know, we needed it so we could lock up the knifes and all the other things that we think you could use to hurt yourself. Not really the way they would want to start out today's talk.

"Okay, I can see you two don't want to tell me why it's there right now, but do remember that I will be asking again later and I do except a answer." Rachel tells when they enter the kitchen.

"You got it, Tiny." Santana chuckles and lets go of Rachel's hand and walk over to the coffee pot pouring three cups of coffee. "How much sugar?"

"Two packets, please." Rachel replies, walking over to the table with Quinn and sitting down. Santana nods and grabs two packets of sugar out of the jar and pours them into Rachel's mug, before grabbing four more and putting them into Quinn's mug. "Four packets? How can you handle that much sugar?"

"I love sugar I can't help it. Plus, it's not really that much." Quinn says as she takes the mug from Santana's hand. "Thank you."

"Not that much? That's like just eating pure sugar by the spoonfuls. Thank you, Tana." Rachel smiles up at Santana when she places her mug in front of her as she sits down beside her.

"Your welcome, beautiful." Santana smiles taking a drink of her coffee and moaning quietly at the taste. She still can't get over the fact that this coffee that Rachel got has to be the best she ever tasted. "You know if your worried about Q using to much sugar it's probably a good thing you've never seen B eat cereal."

"S, is right. B is worse when it comes to sugar then me." Quinn chuckles stirring her coffee with the spoon that Rachel handed her.

"I'm afraid to even ask how much she uses." Rachel says playing with handle on her mug shaking her head a little.

"Probably better that way." Santana sits her mug down on the table. "Anyways baby girl, we need to talk."

Rachel nods her head a little bit and looks down at the table, her eyes connect with the coloring book that is still laying out on the table. She smiles at the picture of ducks that Brittany colored. The four ducks on the page was different colors with the four girls names under them. Rachel chuckles when she sees that Brittany put a tiny yellow star on the forehead of the tiniest duck named Rachel. Santana and Quinn smile at the tiny diva, before giving each other a small smile. Their not sure how Rachel is going take what they're about to tell her. They can only hope that she doesn't hate them for it.

"Sweetie, As you know we talked to Coach last night." Quinn says sitting her mug down and looking over at Rachel.

"yeah." Rachel whispers.

"She wants to get you help, tiny." Santana reaches over and runs her hand up and down Rachel's arm soothingly. "There's is this hospital called Fox Run in Saint Clairsville and we feel that it's the best option if you go there."

Santana knew that there was probably a better way for her to tell Rachel. Well, not really a better way but one that wasn't so blunt. She was never good with emotions or good with people skills. She can feel Rachel's arm tense under her hand. "Baby girl?"

"You want to send me away?" Rachel whispers her voice cracking with emotion.

Santana reaches up cupping the tiny diva's cheek gently turning her face towards her ,so she can look into her eyes. Deep chocolate eyes that all three cheerios have come to love. Eyes that look so dead now. Santana silently makes a promise that no matter what it takes she will make those eyes come back to life and glow like they use to, and just not for a few minutes like she's seen for the past few days.

" You need help, Rach. I know you say that you don't, but you know that's a lie. Your denying it and kills me and everyone else to watch you deny it. Seeing those cuts on your shoulder and listening to you tell us about the night you was going to kill yourself, it literally makes me sick to my stomach. Every time I close my eyes all I can see is you holding a razor or pills. I can't get it out of my mind, tiny." Santana pauses and takes a deep breath trying to hold back the tears. Right now is not the time to cry. She needs to finish this talk first, because she knows once she starts crying she's not going to be able to stop.

"Do you think I want you to go away? Because, I don't. Fuck. If I had my way I wouldn't let you go. Hell, I wouldn't even let you go two feet out the door. All I want to do is to protect from everything and everyone. I don't want to lose you not when I just got you. I know you still don't trust us and that were not together, but I love you, tiny. Q and B love you too. You're the missing piece in our unconventional relationship. So please, just let us get you help."

Quinn gets up and walks over to stand by Santana. Kneeling down she lays her hands on top of Rachel's knees.

"Sweet heart, we know your probably scared and that's okay, because to tell you the truth I'm a little scared to. I don't like the idea of you being so far away from us, but you need help. We all love you so much, Rach. So, please just agree to go, because we don't really want to force you, but we will. Even if you hate us for it."

The room was quiet. The only thing that could be heard was the TV in the living room playing some movie. None of the three girls moved, it was like they were frozen. Quinn and Santana stared into Rachel's deep chocolate eyes watching Rachel process everything that was said. After what seem to be forever, Rachel blinked her eyes and broke down launching herself at two stunned cheerios.

"I know, I need help. I know. I don't want to hurt anymore." Rachel cries hanging on to them.

"Shh, Baby girl. It's going be okay." Santana whispers into the tiny diva's ear, finally letting her tears fall. " I got you and we're going get you help."

"I got you too, sweetie." Quinn whispers reassuringly wrapping her arms around the tiny diva and the Latina.

"Yay! A group hug." They hear Brittany yell, before being almost knocked over when the bubbly blonde joined them. They all three giggle at Brittany's actions as they hug her.

"Umm, is everything okay?" A timid Blaine asks from the doorway.

"I think so." Rachel answers pulling away from the three cheerios to smile at her brother. " Everything is okay or well it will be."

"Good." Blaine smiles back at her. " I just wanted to tell you guys that mom texted and said that her and Coach Sylvester will be here at four."

"Thank you, Blaine."

"No problem." Blaine smiles again before going back to the living room.

When Rachel turns back around she smiles softly at Santana, before leaning up and gently wiping the tears from the Latina's eyes. Santana smiles and leans into Rachel's touch.

"I'm sorry." Rachel whispers looking up at Quinn and Brittany, as she runs her thumb across Santana's cheek. " I'm sorry for worrying and upsetting you guys."

"Baby girl, you don't have to apologize. Just promise us your going go to Fox Run and get help." Santana says covering the hand on her cheek with hers.

"I promise."

"Good, Now everything will be okay!" Brittany claps her hands together bouncing up and down a little, causing the other girls to giggle at the bubbly blonde.

"It sure will be, Britt." Rachel tells the blonde dancer, motioning for a hug. Brittany squeals and jumps toward Rachel almost knocking her off the chair.

"Come on, Rae." Brittany doesn't wait for reply as she drags the tiny diva out of the kitchen.

"She's a little excited and happy." Quinn laughs as she leans up against her Latina girlfriend, watching the tall blonde pull the smaller girl.

" I think it's all the sugar she had for breakfast." Santana jokes, wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist. " I'm just glad she's smiling and bubbly again."

"Me too." Quinn leans down and kisses Santana gently on the lips. "We still need to check and see if she cut anywhere else."

"I know, I was thinking we could do that later. Puck talked about wanting to go swimming if Rachel was okay with it. So, we could check before we do that."

"Okay, sounds good, but I don't think it would be a good idea for her to go swimming with those cuts on her shoulder."

"Your probably right. I'm sure she'll probably just sun bathe, but if not she can always just wade in the water." Santana says standing up and stretching, before walking over to the coffee pot to get more coffee.

"I'm glad she didn't get upset." Quinn grabs hers and Rachel's coffee mugs from the table and pours out the left over coffee before washing them out.

"I know. I really think she's come to realize that she does need help and we're going be there for her every step of the way." Santana takes a sip of her coffee as she watches her blonde girlfriend put the coffee mugs in the cupboard.

"I think your right."

"I always am." Santana smirks, finishing off her coffee. Quinn rolls her eyes and takes the mug from the Latina's hands to wash. "Well I am."

"Sure you are, hon. Just like you're a badass."

"Hey! I am a badass and you know it."

"I know that you were a badass until a certain tiny diva made you open up you soft side."

"I'm not a softy." Santana huffs crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes, you are, but only when it comes to me, Britt, and Rachel."

Quinn says wrapping her arms around Santana's neck kissing the Latina softly before moving away from her." Let's go see what the others are up to."

"After you, dear." Santana bows slightly motioning for Quinn to go first. Quinn shakes her head and laughs at her girlfriends antics.

"You're a goof ball."

"But you love me." Santana jokes and puts her hands on Quinn's hip following behind the blonde as they leave the kitchen. Entering the living room they stop and both of them raise their eyebrows at the scene before them. On the couch Brittany with a aluminum hat on her head as she stared intently at the TV.

"Uh, What are you doing, B and where's Rachel and Blaine?" Quinn asks staring at the tall blonde dancer with amused eyes.

"Protecting my brain from the aliens, duh and they went outside to talk." Brittany replied not taking her eyes off the TV. Santana and Quinn turn and look at each, then look at the TV. When Santana realizes what movie is on she starts to laugh so hard she barely stand up.

"Oh no! I think they're to take over Sanny's mind!" Brittany yells worriedly jumping up from the couch and grabbing the aluminum foil to make another hat. Once Brittany makes the hat and puts it on Santana's head, that's when Quinn bust out laughing and pointing at the Latina.

"Oh my god you look so funny!" Quinn laughs and points at the mad Santana, who got dragged over to couch and her hands slapped by Brittany every time she touched her hat.

Santana mumbles under her breath leaning back into the couch crossing her arms as she glared at the blonde that was still laughing at her, then she got a idea.

"Hey Britt, you need to make a hat for Quinn too." Smirking at the now silently Quinn.

"Your right. I almost forget. Come here Quinn." Brittany said grabbing the foil again.

"I don't need one, B." Quinn says holding up her hands in front of her as she slowly backs up.

"But they'll make your brain all mushy and I don't want to happen." Brittany pouts looking up Quinn.

"Yeah, Q we wouldn't want that to happen." Santana says still smirking.

"Okay." Quinn sighs taking the hat from Brittany and putting it on her head before she sits down on the other side of Brittany. smiling at both of her girlfriends Brittany kisses their cheeks before turning back to the TV.

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel's POV<strong>

I giggle and shake my head a little when I hear Brittany yell about aliens taking over Santana's mind. Brittany really is something, but her bubbly personality and innocents make her so adorable. I'm just glad that Quinn and Santana seem to keep Brittany away when we talk, because it already hurts enough to have to talk to them let alone Brittany.

"I would love to see Santana and Quinn's face right about now." Blaine laughs sitting on the porch.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure their both sporting aluminum hats now." I say sitting down by Blaine. He laughs again and nods his head in agreement.

Pulling my legs up in the swing and wrapping my arms around them , as Blaine pushes the swing back and forth slowly with his feet, I look around my neighborhood. It's still earlier in the afternoon. I can see some of my neighbors working in their flowerbeds or mowing their lawns. Some of the boys on my street looked to be setting up some kind of makeshift baseball field, while the girls were dancing and laughing like they didn't have a care in the world. I miss being that carefree and happy.

"You okay, Rachel?" Blaine asks looking over at me.

"For once I am." I reply smiling over at him. " When Santana and Quinn first told me about Fox Run I was kind of hurt and upset that they everyone was teaming up on me and going to send me away, but after they explained why oddly enough I'm okay with it. I know I need help and that even though you and everyone else want to help, there's only so much you guys can do. So yeah, I'm okay and I ready to get help."

"Good. You know that none of really want to send away but we all know you need to go."

"I never got to thank you for coming and talking to me park."

"Hey, no need to thank me. Like I said I'm a part time superhero and also it's my job to cheer up my sister." He jokes bumping my shoulder.

"Well, little bro you know we have a lot of catching up to do." I smile at him.

"What do you have in mind, sis?" He asks me when he sees that I'm thinking of things we could.

"Hmm, we could go shopping. I need to get some new clothes for school, even though I'll be wearing my cheerios outfit most of time I still need some jeans and t-shirts. Plus there's a new Xbox game I want. I think that you and Noah would like it." I say looking back out at the kids that are playing baseball in the open field across from my house.

"sounds good to me. I didn't know you liked playing Xbox? Well, I know you have one and probably play it, but I didn't think you would be to into it."

"I never use to be but I starting to play it a lot last year." I tell him. "Oh, and don't tell Noah but I'm actually really good at Call of Duty. I always play in tournament and stuff. I want to see his face when we play later."

"Your secret is safe with me. You know he's probably not going be the only impressed." Blaine smirks.

"yeah, you know there's a lot of things that none of them know about me, actually. To tell you the truth I'm little nervous about them finding out." I say laying my chin on my knees.

I'm not sure why I'm nervous about them finding out about all things I like to do. I've always portrayed myself to them as a high maintenance diva, but in reality I'm far from it.

"What other things do you like to do?" Blaine asks curiously.

"Come on and I'll show you." I stand up wiping the invisible dust off my knees before I walk off the porch and head toward the garage. I might be nervous about the other finding out about my hobby but Blaine for some reason I'm not. Maybe it's because he's my brother and the weird connection I feel to him. I'm not to sure.

When we reach the side door to the garage I turn to him and smirk letting him go in first. He raises an eyebrow at me before walk by me. I suppress a giggle when I hear him gasp as he looks around garage.

"What do you think?" I ask moving to stand by him. " I took up motorcycles a little bit after my fathers left. I always had interest in motorcycles even since I watched a race on TV. When they left I was so alone and hurt that I knew I need to find something to try to my mind off of things. So, I decided to try to find something other then singing to do. That's when my mind drifted back to seeing that race on TV and how I always thought it would be fun to do. Once I turned fifteen I went and bought my first motorcycle. Of course my fathers had to sign for it stuff, but they didn't care. I guess maybe it was their way of trying not to feel guilt, by getting me everything I wanted."

"Wow." Blaine says walking over to the five bikes in the middle of the garage and looking at each one.

I walk over to my Sapphire Blue 2012 Triumph America. I absolutely loved this bike. Don't get me wrong I like my other bikes to but this one was definitely my baby. "This one is my favorite."

"I can see why it's a gorgeous bike." Blaine comments as he looks at, before turning to look at the Cranberry Red Triumph Thunderbird. "I like this one."

"Well, maybe I can show you how to ride it sometime and then you can get your licenses and we can go riding together." I tell him and smile when I see he's whole face light up.

"I would love that." He smiles as he looks at the other bikes. Personally I don't have a favorite type of bike or favorite company, so that's why I have two Triumph bikes, one BMW, and two Kawasaki bikes. "All these bikes are beautiful."

"Thanks. Here this one was my first motorcycle I ever bought." I tell him as I motion over to the green and black Kawasaki Z1000. " I love doing wheelies on it."

"You know I can think of four people who are going probably to have a cow if they see you doing that." Blaine says causing me to laugh and nod my head. He was right. Santana, Quinn, Brittany, and my mother are definitely going to have a cow as Blaine puts it. Well Brittany might not, but I know the other three will.

"I think it will be funny. I'm just not planning on getting off the bike once I do it, because I wouldn't be able to out run them if they decide to chase me and slap me silly for scaring them." I saying laughing as we walk out of the garage. We walk back to front porch to see Noah just walking up the step.

"Hey, Noah." I say giggling a little when he jumps.

"Jeez, bro. you scared me."

"Sorry. Do you need help with those bags?" I ask pointing to bags that were sitting on the porch.

"Nah, I got them. What are you guys doing?" He asks me and Blaine as he picks up the four bags and walks to the front door.

"Oh, I was just showing Blaine my motorcycles." I say shrugging a little bit following Noah into the house only to almost run into his back when he stops in the middle of the hallway. His face is priceless. His mouth hung open slightly and his eyes were wide.

"M-Motorcycles?" He stutters out almost dropping the bags to the floor. "You have motorcycles?"

"Yes." I tell him grabbing the bags from hands and handing two to Blaine before taking the others and walking to the kitchen, leaving a stunned Noah behind.

"I think you broke him." Blaine laughs following me to the kitchen.

"He'll be okay. Just wait for it." I smirk and count down from five in my mind. "And-"

"Seriously! You have motorcycles and I'm just finding out about this now!" I hear Noah yell from the hall. I look at Blaine who laughs and puts away the hot dogs and burgers.

"See he's fine." I say as I take the hot dog buns and chips out of the bag laying them on the counter. When I'm about ready to put the other stuff away I stop, feeling eyes on me. Looking up I see four pairs of eyes on me.

"I don't even think Santana and Quinn realize they still have those hats on or even if Puck realizes it either." Blaine whispers to me.

"Me either." I giggle looking at the silly hats the three cheerios are sporting.

"Nice hats."

My comment seemed to snap everyone out of their little daze, because Quinn and Santana quickly remove the hats and Noah starts laughing at picking on them for it.

"Shut it, Puck." Santana glares at him, before smacking he's arm, causing him to yelp in pain. "Now, why was Puck yelling about motorcycles?"

"Oh, I was just telling him that I showed Blaine my motorcycles." I reply handing the hamburger buns to so he can put them away.

"You have motorcycles?" Quinn asks raising an eyebrow. They all act like it's a big deal or something. Well, I guess it kind of is weird and unusual for me.

"I do and before any of you say anything. Yes I was planning on telling you all later today, because I was going see if you wanted to see if any of you wanted to learn to ride them, well if you three wanted to learn." I say pointing at the three cheerios. "Because I know Noah already has his licenses."

"I wanna learn!" Brittany yells jumping up and down smiling. I smile at her and nod my head to let her know I would teach her.

"Do you two want to learn to?" I ask the other two girls in the room. They look at each other, before turning back towards me with little smirks on their face. Oh no, I'm not liking those looks at all.

"Well, we might want learn eventually but for now I think we would rather ride with you, if that's okay?" Santana says still smirking at me. I feel my face start to get hot as I think about Santana wrapping her arms around my waist holding tight while I drive. Then my thoughts drift to Quinn sitting on the back of my bike giving me a sexy smile. I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt someone leaning up against my back and whispering in my ear.

"Your drooling, tiny." Santana whispers in a raspy voice. "And you still never answered my question."

"T-that would be fine." I stutter out moving away from the Latina. I look around to see that Blaine and Noah were missing. "Where did the boys go?"

"While you were in lala land thinking about something or someone, Blaine took Puck to see your bikes." Quinn tells me leaning against the counter looking at me with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk. I blush again and just nod as I move away from the counter. I wonder if I could just walk out of here with out them knowing? All I seem to do is blush around them.

"Stop picking on, Rae." Brittany tells them smacking their arms.

"Sorry." They both mumble still smirking at me. They both really love to tease me.

"So, tiny what else do we not know about you?" Santana asks as we all walk into the living room.

"Just that." I shrug sitting down on the couch. Brittany sits down beside me and leans up against me. I smile down at her and kiss her head.

"How long have you been riding motorcycles?" Quinn asks as her and Santana sit on the love seat beside the couch.

"Just for a few years. I really needed to take my mind off my fathers, and everything else. Plus, I've always been interested in bikes. So, it just seemed to fit." I tell them leaning back on the couch further so I could hold Brittany better. It's kind of surprising Santana or Quinn aren't freaking at about me riding motorcycles. Maybe, it's just because they haven't actually seen me riding yet. I got a feeling that I'm going have to promise them not to do wheelies or go to fast for them to actually be okay with me riding them.

"I think it's hot." Brittany says causing me to chuckle a little.

"Me too." Santana winks at me ,while Quinn gives me a heated look. I feel my face get all hot for what feels like hundredth time today. It's not fair that they all have this effect on me. I really need to find a way to get them back. Maybe I could go put on my riding gear or I could go put a bikini on. That's what I'll do. Noah wanted to have a cook out anyways and plus I do want to go tanning. I smirk to myself before looking at the blonde and Latina sitting on the love seat. They both seem to be lost in their own little world. Perfect.

"Hey, do you guys want to go out by the pool?" I ask trying to act innocent as possible.

"Sure." Santana and Quinn shrug, while Brittany jumps to her feet and takes off upstairs. I chuckle and stand up to see Brittany literally hopping up the steps. She's so adorable.

"I guess, B's happy with that idea." Santana laughs standing up and walking upstairs after the blonde dancer.

"I know what your trying to do." Quinn whispers in my ear making me shiver. " It's a good plan, but you do realize that we'll be in bikini's too."

My eyes widen as I realize she's right. Oh lord. What have I done? I stand frozen in the middle of doorway as Quinn kisses my cheek and giggles, walking up the stairs. When she gets about halfway up she looks over her shoulder and winks at me, before continuing upstairs. Seriously, what have I done? I'm not going to be able to survive this.

* * *

><p>AN: I wanted to try to have a light chapter for once.. hoped you like it ...Next chapter will probably time skip a little bit w/ flashbacks...


	10. Chapter 9

**Just a short chapter... **

* * *

><p>After snapping out of her thoughts of the three cheerios in bikinis, Rachel made her way to the garage to tell the boys that they were going to tan and to have Noah take Blaine to get his swim trunks.<p>

"Hey you two." Rachel calls walking into the garage.

"Hey Rach, These bikes are awesome!" Noah exclaims from the grey BMW K 1300 S.

"Glad you like them. I take it you really like that one?" Rachel ask with a smile.

"Hell yeah!" Noah yells.

"Well, you can ride it tomorrow." Rachel tells him, smiling and giggle when he smiles and does a little happy dance.

"I think you made his day sis." Blaine laughs.

"I think so. Anyways, I came to tell you both that me and girls are going to go tanning by the pool. Also, I was wondering if you could take Blaine to get his trunks, Noah?"

"Yeah sure, Rach." Noah nods as he gets off the bike. "You ready, bro?"

"Yep, see you in a few sis." Blaine says following Noah out of the garage.

"Be careful." Rachel calls after them.

"I always am, Bro." Noah yells back before starting up is truck. Pulling out of the driveway Noah honked the horn like a crazy person.

Rachel chuckled at the Mohawk boy's antics as she walked back into the house. When she reached the main foyer she heard giggling and screams coming from the backyard. The thought of the unholy trinity having fun brought a smile to her face.

"S! Put the water gun down!" Rachel hears Quinn yell. She can picture Santana holding the water gun with that devious smirk of her as she chases Quinn around the pool. Letting out a tiny laugh, Rachel makes her way upstairs to find her bikini.

**Rachel's POV**

After putting on my dark green bikini I look into the full body mirror to see the thin jagged looking scar on my right hip from the first time I ever cut. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was the day that I not only got slushed, but humiliated by a slushie bath.

_Waking up that morning I decided to wear my favorite pair of AE destroyed denim midi shorts with a navy blue vintage crop tank and flip flops since it was pretty warm outside. I also wore my hair down and curled. I felt good about myself for once as I looked into my vanity mirror. Today was going to be a good day or so I thought. _

_After I got to school and got my books from my locker, that's when I started to notice the looks from all the guys. Some would just give me a small smile, but others were leering at me. It made me feel a little uneasy. Trying to shake it off I went to my first class only to be stopped by Finn Hudson._

"_Wow, you look hot." Finn says looking me up and down. I blushed and whispered a thank you trying to get by him. "Wait I was wondering if you wanted to get together tonight and you know hang out and stuff."_

"_Umm-" I started to say only to be cut off by two cheerios._

"_You actually don't look like a freak today, Man-hands." The redhead cheerio sneered knocking my books from my hands. " It doesn't matter though because your still a freak and always will be."_

"_Loser." the other cheerio laughs as she grabs Finn's arm and drag him away. Sighing I pick my books up and continue my way to first period. _

_The rest of the morning went smoothly and I actually felt like I was finally going to get through a day without a slushie facial. I should have known it was just wishful thinking. _

_After lunch is when it happened. I just got my books from my lockers and was making my way to the library to study during my free period. Turning the corner I was faced with four hockey jerks holding big gulp cups with smirks on their faces. I stare at them with wide eyes before I turn around to go a different way, only to find that the two cheerio from this morning and five football players standing there holding slushies too._

"_Where do you think your going Man-hands?" The redheaded cheerio laughs. I just shake my head and close my eyes and wait, because there is no way out. I hear one of the hockey players player start to count to three._

"_One." _

"_Two." Everyone gathered in the hall started to count too._

"_Three." Everyone chorused together._

_That's when I felt the cold ice hit me from all different directions. The coldness was overwhelming, it took my breath away for a few seconds. I could feel the icy liquid running down my face, arms, tank top front and back, and my legs. _

"_That's a good look for you freak." one of the hockey player says as everyone in the hallway laughs at me. _

_I reach up and wipe my eyes before I look up. Everyone was pointing and laughing. I turn to my left to see Kurt and Mercedes filming it on their cell phones as they laugh, Tina was beside Artie, Noah, and Mike all them had sad looks on their but made no move to help me. Choking back a sob I slowly made my way through the crowd. _

"_Aww, I think we hurt her feelings." I hear the redheaded cheerio say from behind me. _

_I just shake my head and still try to push my way through the crowd. The slushies were starting to feel sticky on my skin and my eyes were starting to burn. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to drive home until I got the slushie out of my eyes, but at that point I didn't really care. I just wanted out of there and away from them all. No matter how much I tried to fit in I just couldn't. Not even the other Glee kids had to go through what I went through on a daily basis. Sure they got slushied and teased but they never got slammed into lockers, books knocked from their hands and kicked down the hall, or even their lunches ruined. Everybody in this damn school was out to get me and I have no idea why. _

_Finally making it through the crowd and to the west wing bathroom. Throwing my books and bag across the room, I let out scream. Walking over to sink I quickly grabbed some paper towel and wetted them to clean my face. I didn't even notice anyone enter the bathroom until I looked through the mirror to see the unholy trinity staring at me. I stop wiping my face and look at them waiting for them to say something, but they never do. Huffing I finishing cleaning my face before I walk over and grab my bag and books to leave. I try to walk a past the three cheerio only to be stopped by a hand on my forearm. Looking up I see Santana looking at me with unreadable eyes._

"_Don't wear stuff like this again, man-hands." She says lowly before she lets go of my arms and walks out of the bathroom with Quinn and Brittany trailing her. _

_What the hell? Why do they care what I wear? If memory serves me right Santana was always telling me that I should stop dressing like a toddler or something. You would think she would like this look. Taking a deep breath I continue on my way to my car not caring about getting my seat cover wet, I throw my books and bag in the passenger seat, before I take off out of the school lot. _

_Driving home all I could think about was Santana and the look on her face. It was a look I've only ever seen her give once before and that was on the day she threw her first and last slushie in my face. I could have swore it was a look of regret, but why would she regret it? She's the one who decided I was a freak with out reason. She started all the slushie facials, while Quinn started all the hurtful names. Shaking my head at thought of them regretting how they treat me, because it was nothing but wishful thinking, I park my car in my driveway. _

_Leaving my books and bag in the car I go inside, checking the answering machine to see if my fathers left a message. Of course there isn't one. I make slowly make my way upstairs. My whole body felt weak. My head throbbing and I felt sick to my stomach as I thought about what just happened at school. I wanted nothing more then to disappear and never return to that school, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't let them win. That's what they wanted. They all wanted to see me fail. To see me break. Well, I was going to let them have the satisfaction of seeing it. _

_Entering my bathroom I stripped my clothes off and throw them in a pile by door so I could throw them away later. They're ruined, so no point in keeping them. I hop in the shower letting the warm water wash away all the sticky liquid from my body. Looking down I slightly laughed at the colored water that ran down the drain. It looked like a clown threw up or something. Shaking my head at my own stupid thoughts, I washed my hair and body until I was clean. _

_My thoughts drifted to everything that has happened today and about my father's. I just feel so alone all the time. I just wished I had someone to talk to. Someone that cared, but I don't and I don't think I ever will. I let out a tiny sob as I reach and turn the water off, knocking of my razor in the process. Picking it up I nicked the tip of my finger. My first thought was to wash the blood away until I saw the crimson fluid running down my finger. It was weird for some reason seeing the little bit of blood made me feel better. It made me feel in control for once, because I knew it was my body and I put that cut on my finger even if I didn't mean to. That's when I got the idea of cutting. _

_Stepping out of the shower and drying off I grabbed the razor and broke it, taking one of the small razors I slowly slide it across my right hip. Blood started to make it way out of the cut and it felt like the world was lifted from my shoulder. The pain and hurt disappeared. When I was done I washed the blade and put it away for later use, before I started to hum and wipe the blood from hip. It was the first time in a long I felt better. It was the start of my secret. My way to feel free and in control._

**Santana's POV**

"Rachie has been gone a long time." Brittany says looking back at the house.

"Maybe, we should go check on her." Quinn says as she puts on sun tan lotion.

"I'll go check on her." I tell them walking towards the house.

Entering the kitchen I heard a loud crash followed by a scream. It made my blood run cold. Taking off I sprinted up the stairs. God I hope she's okay. Please, let her be okay. Rushing into her room I could hear Rachel crying from the bathroom. Taking a deep breath I walk slowly over to the closed door, pushing it open. The sight I saw instantly made tears form in my eyes. There sat Rachel curled up in a tiny ball, surrounded by shards of glass from her bathroom mirror.

"Baby girl." I call out softly as I slowly make my way to her, making sure to be careful of the glass. When I reach her I bend down and pick her up carrying her out of the bathroom. She clings to my shirt mumbling "to make it stop" over and over again.

"What was doing?" I ask her gently as I place her on the bed, brushing her hair away from her face.

"I-I don't know." She cries out trying to move away from me.

"Calm down, Rach. Please." I say trying to pull her to me. She keeps pushing me and tries to get away from me. "Tiny, please."

"You can't help me not when you're the one who caused this!" Rachel yells pushing my shoulders harder. " You're the one who order that slushie bath!"

"Tiny-" I get cut off by her screaming at me telling me it's my fault, while hits me in the chest over and over and I just let her.

"You might as well gave me the damn razor." She say quietly as she stops hitting my chest and looks up at me with so much hate in her eyes. It made me gasp and my heartbreak. I let out a sob realizing that the first time she ever cut was the day I had that slushie bath order. I caused her to cut. I was the reason she thought cutting was the answering. Me and my stupid jealous issues, caused her so much pain and hurt. Pain and hurt that I can't fix.

"Leave." Rachel whispers looking into my eyes. "Just go."

"Baby girl-"

"I'm not your baby girl! I don't want you, Quinn, or Brittany here anymore so just leave."

"No." I whisper shaking my head. "I love you, Rachel and I'm not going anywhere."

"You don't love me!"

"I do!" I reach up and cup her face letting the tears fall freely from my eyes. "I do love you. I really do. I know I've hurt and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for ordering that slushie bath. I was just so jealous that I wasn't thinking straight. I'm so sorry."

She looks up into my eyes slightly shaking her head before looking away from me. My heart dropped, because I'm pretty sure I just lost her. I lost her before I even got a chance to have her. I let out a small sob stilling cupping her face I lean in and kiss her cheek gently, before I let go. I can't fix this. I officially ruined everything. I move to get up only to have her pull me back.

"I should hate you. I should kick you out of my house and never speak to you again, but I can't. I can't picture myself without you, Quinn, or Brittany. What are you doing to me?" She asks softly. She pulls me into a hug and hold on to me tightly. " Why do I have to love you three so much?"

I hug her back holding her close as if she's going to disappear. I kiss her head over and over. I'm so afraid I'm going lose her. I don't think I've ever been this scared in my whole entire life. The moment she told me to leave made my heart ache and made me feel so sick.

"I love you, baby girl. I'm so sorry." I whisper against her forehead.

"I know." She looks up at me and cups my cheek. "I love you too, Tana."

She smiles at me before she leans in and places a soft kiss on my lips. It wasn't nothing more then lips touching each other, but it was perfect. When she pulls back she smiles at me again and giggles. She's so perfect. With her, Britt, and Quinn by side I know everything will be okay and we will get through anything. Together. Just like it should have been from the beginning.


	11. Chapter 10

"Hey, Where's Rachel?" Puck asks as him and Blaine walk out on to the patio carrying the food for the grill.

"Upstairs with San." Quinn replies going over to help them. "I was actually getting ready to go check on them before you two got here."

"You two go ahead and go check on them. We'll start the food." Puck tells her with a smile as he helps Blaine start up the grill.

"Okay. Just don't burn down anything."

"Come on babe, that was just one time." Puck whines causing the two blondes to giggle.

"How about you just hand me the food and I'll use the grill, because I'm pretty sure Rachel would like to keep her house in one piece." Blaine tells him grabbing the tongs. Puck huffs and grabs the burgers, handing them to Blaine.

"Come on, B. Let's go check on our girls." Quinn say smiling at the bubbly blonde, grabbing her hand and leading her into the house.

"Do you think something is wrong?" Brittany asks softly as they made their way upstairs.

"No, they probably got talking or something." Quinn tells her gently squeezing her hand. She really hopes that's all that happen, but the weird feeling in her stomach is telling her different.

"Rachel? San?" Quinn knocks lightly on Rachel's bedroom door before entering. She smiled when she saw Santana and Rachel cuddled up on the bed asleep.

"You find them, Quinn?" Brittany asks coming up behind her.

"Look." Quinn says pointing over at the two brunettes sleeping.

"Aww, they look so cute." Brittany says smiling.

"They do."

"I got to pee." Brittany says causing Quinn to giggle at her. Brittany walks over to bathroom only to stop and stare at what was inside.

"B, is something wrong?" Quinn asks looking at her girlfriend who had what look to be fear and worry etched into her face.

"Come here." Brittany whispers her voice cracking a little bit.

Quinn walks over to where Brittany stood and gasped when she saw the mirror shattered all over the floor.

"Q? B?" Santana asks sleepily as she sits up in the bed. Quinn and Brittany turn and look at with faces of confusion. "Something wrong?"

"You could say that. What happen, S? Why is Rachel's mirror in a million pieces all over the bathroom floor." Quinn asks staring at her Latina girlfriend.

"She broke it." Santana whispers sighing. " I heard her scream and a loud crash when I entered the kitchen earlier. When I came up here I found her in the bathroom curled up in a little ball surrounded by the glass from the mirror."

"Why did she break it?"

"She was thinking about the first time she cut." Santana whispers looking down. She really doesn't want to talk about this. Plus, before Rachel fell asleep she was doing a lot of thinking about everything and the solution she came up with she probably going to cause a lot of pain and hurt.

"When was the first time she cut?" Quinn asks softly taking in her girlfriend's face. Quinn can tell Santana is thinking of doing something by the look in her eyes. It's the same look she had when her, Brittany and Santana confessed their feelings for each other. Fear.

"The day I ordered that slushie bath."

Quinn and Brittany look at each other before looking down. They could have stopped her, but no. They helped her. They all hated the way all the guys stared at Rachel that day. It made them all sick and jealous. In their minds they thought that if they couldn't have her then no one else will be able to either.

"San-" Quinn starts but gets cut off by Santana getting up and walking out the bedroom door. Quinn follows out in the hall. Santana was really started to worry her. She's never seen her like this before.

"I've been thinking." Santana whispers with her back towards Quinn and Brittany, who just followed them, as she leaned on the railing.

"About?" Quinn asks.

"Maybe I should just leave her alone." Santana's voice cracks with emotion as she closes her eyes.

"What are you talking about Santana?"

"She started to cut because of me. I caused this Quinn. How can she ever be with me when I caused most of the slushies and torment she got at school?"

"So, what you just want to leave her? Do you know what that would do to her? Do you? San, that would hurt her more then anything and you know that. Why the change all of sudden, S?" Quinn asks walking over to Santana.

"When I walked into that bathroom seen Rachel curled up in a ball on the floor crying, I felt like someone kicked me in the gut. The sight broke my heart. Then when I found why she broke the mirror and why she started to cut. It made me sick to know that I caused it. She told I might has well gave her the razor. I'm reason she thought cutting was the answer."

Santana walks back into Rachel's room grabbing her t-shirt and a pair of sweats slipping them on. When she picks up her bag from beside Rachel's bed she looks down at the tiny diva. Tears form in her eyes again as she bites her lip. Hearing Quinn and Brittany behind her she wipes her eyes furiously, before turning to walk out of the room.

"Don't do this." Quinn chokes out. She knows Santana blames herself for everything, but it's not all her fault. Yes, some of it is just like some of it is hers and Brittany, but not everything that Rachel has been through is. "Don't walk out on her. It's going to break her heart."

"She'll have you and Brittany to fix it." Santana says walking out of the bedroom and not looking back. She had to do this. This is the only way she make sure that Rachel will be okay, even if it means leaving the three girls she loves.

"Your being so stupid." Brittany hisses out causing Santana to stop for a second before she continues down the hall.

"What are we going to do?" Brittany asks Quinn as they watch the Latina disappear down the stairs.

"I don't know, Britt. I just don't know." Quinn sighs running her hands through her hair. When they hear the front door close they both let their tears fall. Santana left them. She was gone and she's not coming back.

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel's POV<strong>

Waking up I hear the three cheerios talking by the door to my bedroom.

"Don't walk out on her. It's going to break her heart."

"She'll have you and Brittany to fix it." I hear Santana say in a defeated voice before I hear all three of them walk out of my room.

Santana was leaving? She was leaving me like everyone else. It was only a matter of time before Quinn and Brittany leave me to. I'm not good enough for anyone. I was just fooling myself into thinking that they would ever stay with me. I'm to messed up and broken for anyone to love me.

I get up finding a pair of jeans, shoes, shirt, and my jacket before I walk out of room almost running into the two blondes.

"Rach, where are you going?" Quinn asks following behind me. I don't answer her I just keep walking. I had to get away for a little while. I couldn't stay here any longer.

"Rae?" Brittany asks in small voice. I can't talk to them, because if I do I won't leave. I won't be able to.

"Stop." Quinn says grabbing my wrist and stopping me from going any further. I close my eyes taking a deep breath trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Let me go." I say lowly.

"No, not until you talk to us."

"There's nothing to talk about. So, just let me go and go after Santana."

"Rac-"

"Don't. Just don't I heard her leaving and I'm let you guys go. So, go find your girlfriend and leave me the hell alone." I say emotionless. I pull my arm away from Quinn and head towards the garage, stopping by the door.

"When I get back I don't want you here."

With that I walk out of the house leaving them behind. Ignoring the calls of my name from them. Opening the garage door and grabbing my helmet, I look over at the porch to see Quinn and Brittany running towards me. Quickly I put on my helmet and climb on my bike.

"Don't leave. Please we can fix this Rae. We'll go get Santana. Please." Brittany begs me.

"There's nothing to fix. She made her choice and I'm making yours." I say starting up the bike. I turn and look at them one last time, before I go. I wasn't going to just sit around wait for them to decide they had enough of me and leave. My heart can't take anymore pain and hurt. I should have known this would happen. I should have never let them in, because now I'm paying for it. I was a fool to think they were different from everyone else. I was so stupid to think they really cared.

I pull out of the driveway, leaving them and all my problems behind. Well a least for a little while.


	12. Chapter 11

**I do not own Glee, the quote used, or the song On my own-the used**

* * *

><p><strong>Puck's POV<strong>

"Puck!" I hear Quinn and Brittany yell from inside the house. I look over at Blaine who looks just as confused as me, before we take off into the house.

"What's wrong?" I ask as both the blonde run into my arms crying.

"Rachel and Santana." Brittany chokes out, clinging to my arm. Quinn and Brittany try to explain what happen but neither me or Blaine can understand what they're saying from all the crying.

"Shhh, you have to calm down. We can't understand what your saying." I tell them trying to calm them down.

"Rachel left." Quinn says taking a deep breath calming down a little bit.

" She heard Santana leaving and saying stupid stuff. We have to find Rachel, Puck. She was so upset when she took off on her bike. I'm afraid she's going to do something stupid."

Santana left? What hell? Doesn't she realize that's exactly what Rachel was afraid of. Looking over I see Blaine on the phone. I'm guessing he decided to call his mom and Coach Sylvester.

"My mom and Coach Sylvester said that they will start looking for Rachel near the park and school." Blaine says when he hangs up the phone.

"Okay, Blaine you and the girls take my truck and go look for her at the track on the other side of town and by the river, because I remember seeing her sitting on the bank on day last year." I tell them handing my keys to Blaine.

"What are you going to do?" Quinn asks wiping her eyes.

"I'm going after Santana. She's the only one who is going to be able to fix this now."

All three of them nod before we all run out of the house. Quinn and Brittany hop in the passenger side of my truck as Blaine jumps into the driver side.

"Wait, how are you going to find Santana?" Blaine asks before closing the truck door. I just point to the garage. Blaine nods and starts up my truck and pull out of the driveway.

Running into the garage I grab one of the helmets sitting on the work bench in the corner, putting it on before I mount the bike. I really hope I can find Santana quick, because if I don't I would really hate to think what will happen. Starting down the driveway, I stop to see Santana's car pulling up to the curb on the other side of the road. Well, she made that easy.

"What the hell were you thinking!" I yell at her pulling the helmet of and walking towards her.

"I came back didn't I? So shut up, Puck!" She yells walking up the driveway.

"Your about 10 minutes to late!"

"What are you talking about?" She asks with a confused look.

"She left. She heard you leave and then took off herself."

"I-I She heard me?" Santana asks in a small voice, looking up at me with sad and regretful eyes.

"Yeah."

Santana breaks down crying. I know she realizes what she done. She knows she screwed up, but that still doesn't make me any less angry.

"What were you thinking? Her biggest fear was people leaving her and what did you do. You fucking left her! You left her, San. I get that all this hard, but you leaving was wrong and stupid."

"I know okay! I know me leaving was stupid, but I didn't know what else to do. She just fucking told me that I might as well gave her the razor! Do you know how that made me feel? To know that I'm the reason she started to cut in the first place. I hurt her so much and I thought that if I just left everything would be okay." Santana sobs out tears falling freely down her cheeks.

"You didn't cause all the pain and hurt she's going through, San. You may have been one of the reason she started to cut, but your not the whole reason. You can still fix everything and make up for all the hurt and pain you did cause." I tell her putting my hand on her shoulder.

"How?" She asks quietly.

"By helping me find her and talking to her for a start. After that I'm not sure. You'll have to figure that out on your own." I grip her shoulder as she nods.

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?" Santana asks wiping her eyes looking at me. I give her a little smile and pat her on the shoulder.

"That's when you do all the talking. She'll listen to you, it may take awhile for her to forgive you on this, but she will."

"How do you know that?"

"It's Rachel Berry." I answer her like it's the most obvious thing ever. "She forgave you for all the slushies, names, and everything right? Well you making one stupid mistake, no matter how big or small, won't change that."

"I hope your right." Santana lets out a shaky breath.

"I hope I'm right too." I mumble to myself as we walk to Santana's car.

"What did you say?" She asks looking over at me curiously.

"Oh, I said you should let me drive." She raises an eyebrow at me, before she nods and hands me the keys. That was close. "Call Quinn and Brittany to let them know I didn't kill you and that we're going to look for Rachel."

**Rachel's POV **

Pulling into the parking lot for the hiking trails I was happy to see that I'm the only there. I know that this will be the last place that any of them think to look. Turning the bike off and taking my helmet off, I put my keys in my pocket and begin to walk down the trail that lead to the waterfall.

Why was I so dumb to think that anyone would ever stay with me? Or even love me? I never done anything to cause all this pain. All I wanted was for someone to care and for someone to love me. Was I just to messed up for anyone to love me? Am I really that worthless?

"AHHHH!" I scream at the top of my lungs when I reach the waterfall. Walking over and sitting down on a big rock that was off to the side of the trail. I look out at the waterfall. It's beautiful and peaceful here. I use to come here all the time when I had a bad day or just need to get away. It's one of the only place I actually feel free and happy at.

_See all those people on the groundWasting timeI try to hold it all insideBut just for tonightThe top of the worldSitting here wishingThe things I've becomeSomething is missingMaybe I...But what do I know_

_And now it seems that I have foundNothing at allWanna hear your voice out loudSlow it down, slow it downWithout it allI'm choking on nothingIts clear in my headI'm screaming for somethingKnowing nothing is better than knowing at allOn My Own..._

_On My Own..._

_On My Own..._

_On My Own...Without it allI'm chokin on nothingIts clear in my headI'm screaming for somethingKnowing nothing is better than knowing at allOn My Own..._

_On My Own..._

_On My Own..._

_On My Own…"_

Finishing the song I wipe the tears from my eyes. I'm so sick of crying and hurting. Will I always be on my own? Is there anyone out there to help me? When I go to Fox Run I'm really thinking about just selling my house and moving somewhere else. Maybe, that's what I need is to be away from Lima. Away from all the people who have hurt me and all the painful memories. Mainly, away from the three girls that stole and broke my heart.

Looking down I see a quote on the rock written in white paint.

"If you could read what's in my heart, you'd be in tears." I read out loud, tracing the words with my finger tip. It was true. If people could actually read what was in my heart they would be in tears. My whole life has been nothing more then a damn story waiting to be written. Although, the ending has yet to come. I'm pretty sure that it will end up being a tragedy, because I really don't see a happy ending happening.


	13. Chapter 12

**Santana's POV**

I was so stupid for leaving earlier. I have no clue what I was thinking. I knew Rachel's biggest fear was people leaving and what did I do. I left her. Fuck. I really screwed up this time.

"Have they found her yet?" I ask Puck once he got off the phone with Blaine.

"No." Puck sighs as we pull back on the road. " When we found her your ass better fix this."

"I will." I promise, looking out the window of the car I see Rachel's motorcycle parked at the hiking trails. "Look, there's her bike."

Puck pulls into the parking lot, grabbing his phone he calls everyone to let them know we found Rachel's bike.

"They'll be here in like 10 minute. You go that way and I'll go the other, because I really don't think I can for the others to get here before we go look for her." Puck walks over to the trail on the left, while I head for the trail on the right.

Walking up the trail I hear Rachel singing. God, she sounds like an angel. I've always loved her singing, even if she was sings stupid show tunes. I loved hearing her perfect and breathtaking voice. Slowly, I make my way toward her. When I reach her I could tell she's crying. Seeing her like that broke my heart. I'm reason she's crying. I caused this and I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to fix it.

"Why are you here?" She rasps out not looking at me. " You made it clear at the house you was leaving. So, why are you here Santana?"

"I came to find you." I tell her walking over and sitting down beside her.

"Well, you found me."

"Rach-"

"Don't." Her voice cracks.

"Rachel!" I turn to see Shelby and Coach running towards us. Shelby brushes by me and pulls Rachel into hug. I just sit there and stare at Rachel, thinking about what she said. I lost her. My fucking stupid idea just caused me to lose her.

"S?" I turn to see Coach looking at me with worry. "You okay?"

I just nod as I feel tears burn my eyes. I really screwed up and I don't think I'm going to be able to fix this.

"Don't run off like that again Rachel. You had everyone worried." Shelby tells Rachel, relief evident in her voice.

"Rachie!" Brittany yells running past me and toward Rachel. The heartbroken and lost look on Rachel, makes Brittany stop dead and look at her confused. "What's wrong Rachie?"

"I-" Hearing twigs being broke and shuffling behind us we turn to see Quinn and the boys walking up. " Good, all of you here. Now I won't have to repeat myself."

Rachel's takes a deep breath and I feel like I'm going to lose it. I know what she's going to do. She's going to push us away and it's my fault she's doing it. God, how stupid could I be? I knew Rachel's fear about people leaving and what did I do. I ran because I thought it would help, but deep down I knew better.

"Rachel, how about we going back to the house to discuss this?" Shelby asks quietly. I think she can sense what Rachel is trying to do.

"No, I want to talk about it now. I know I'm a mess. I know I need help and I want to get help. So, I would like to go to Fox Run as soon as possible and I want my girls to be there every step of the way. While I'm still upset at Santana for leaving early, I also know that she had her reasons."

I look at Rachel shocked, as she smiles at me before walk up to me and wipes the tears, I didn't even know I shed, on my cheek away.

"I love you, Tana. Just promise me you won't run again."

"I promise, Baby girl." I say pulling her into a hug and kissing her light on the lips. I feel her smile against my lips and try to deepen the kiss, only to be pulled away by Brittany.

"San, you got to share. I want a kiss." Brittany says causing everyone to laugh.

"I have plenty of kisses for all three of you." Rachel whispers kissing Brittany, then Kissing Quinn.

"Okay, Okay. You four cut out the lovey dovey stuff, I don't want to see it." Coach grumbles.

"Speak for yourself. I was enjoying the show." Puck says smirking at us. Rachel smacks his arm, causing him to yelp. "Oww!"

"Aww, did I hurt the poor baby?" Rachel teases him. He looks at her with a playful smirk before rushing forward and slinging her over his shoulder spinning her around. "Noah! Put me down!"

"Nope, Jewbro you made fun of me now your going to pay." He says laughing and spinning her around, causing her to giggle and smack him on the back.

"S, I'm glad you came back." Quinn tells me not taking her off the tiny diva and football player, as they laugh and have fun.

"Me too." I say smiling at the sight of Rachel having fun. Her giggles and smile really makes me believe that everything will be okay. I guess only time will tell.


End file.
